(Closed) How did you/do you plan to include your step parents in your wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
4081 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

Hey Bee! I’m the same, a happy child of divorce that luckily ended up with 4 parents! I made sure all 4 parents were involved in lots of the photos, my step-mom co-hosted my shower with my mom and was invited to come get ready with us the morning of (I’m closer with my step-mom, so it was easier for me to involve her than my step-dad). When it came time to walk down the isle, I had my all 3 of my grandparent walk together following the bridal party, then my step-parents walked down together, then I walked down with mom & dad. When the officiant referred to the parents, I made sure he addressed all 4 of them. My step-dad is very awkward in front of a crowd and would have hated to do a dance, but I would have done one after my father-daughter one if he’d wanted to. Maybe get your new hubby & his mom to dance with you guys maybe a brother & mom… make it a “family dance”… 

Thats all I can think of for now, but I’m sure other bees will have more suggestions 🙂

Post # 3
Member
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I only have a step-mum not a step-dad, so I can tell you what I did for her. As a thank you we gave all the mothers bouquets of flowers. I asked the florist to make sure they were all equal in price but different styles to suit their personalities. I also asked her if she wanted to sit on the top table, in the UK parents commonly sit on the top table and siblings are sometimes elsewhere. I basically gave my step mum the choice of where she sat, she chose to sit on the table with my brothers and her dad. I also gave her the choice to come and witness the signing of the register with the other parents and to be part of the recessional. I made sure to tell my dad that she was to sit in the front pew with my mum and dad. I also showed her my dress when I’d picked it (but didn’t show my dad). You can ask your photographer for formal photos with your mom’s family, then your dad’s and one with all parents in. When we did the albums, we did a carbon copy of ours for our parents and we made sure that all parents were included in the album. We got a great photo of all the mums drinking red wine together which we made sure to include in the album.

Mention to your parents beforehand that your step parents should stand up in the parent part. If you have a programme or order of service in which you name the parents, be sure to name the step parents. Would you step dad be happy to dance with you? There’s nothing stopping you having two father/daughter dances or two father of the bride speeches (just tell them both to keep it short) and it doesn’t take away from your dads specialness either. I know the tradition varies depending on where you are but could you get ready at your moms and have both your dad and step dad have that moment seeing you when you’re ready?Either both in the same room or individually? 

Post # 4
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

My parents separated when I was about 14; my dad remarried when I was 17 and my mum has remained single due to her religious beliefs. Even though I was older when they got married, I think the world of my step mum and am so happy that my dad found her.

On the morning of my wedding, I will be getting ready at my dad and step mum’s house (3 of my siblings still live there and they’re all in the wedding, so it just seemed the easiest location). My mum will also be there for a few hours, then she has to go pick up some elderly relatives to take them to the wedding. My dad will walk me down the aisle, but when the officiant asks the parents to stand he, my mum, my step mum and my Future Mother-In-Law will all stand. I’ve also asked my step mum to do a reading during the ceremony and she has kindly offered me her veil. My mum was with me when I bought my dress, but my step mum is coming with me next week to pick it up.

Based on my experience, step parents don’t want to feel like they’re stepping on the toes of the biological parents so they tend to take a step back. If you want them to be specifically involved in something, it’s always best to make them aware of this.

Post # 6
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I only have a step-dad, and I’ve known him since I was 3 (so basically, ever since I can remember)

I plan to do a Dad’s first look, separately with my dad, and then with my step dad. I’m also going to have my step dad waiting for me a little before the aisle; my dad and I will be walking in from the bridal suite/venue and meeting him, then the 3 of us will proceed down the aisle together. 

I’m also doing 2 separate father/daughter dances, one with each of them. 

Post # 7
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I just have a step-dad (since the age of 4, and I am now 25). I am going to be having my step-dad perform the ceremony and my dad walk me down the aisle, so that each can play a very significant role in the wedding. I am also going to be doing two father-daughter dances.

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