(Closed) How did your family react to your "unconventional" wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

@KoalaWalla:  LOVE love love all your ideas! Sounds so cute and fun! We are having a welcome picnic instead of a rehersal dinner that will be like that. Our wedding is more casual with lots of off-beat components. At first my mom argued every single point. I had to explain why I wanted to do it that way, why some things HAD to be done that way and finally she understood. I do think some people will hear certain things and automatically think something negative, but once they actually experience it they will love it. 

Post # 5
1995 posts
Buzzing bee

I know that my sister’s own affair probably diverged from every vision my mother has ever had of what her daughters’ weddings would be like, and sometimes my mother can be a bit judgmental.  While she did drop a few hints here and there, my sister and brother-in-law stuck to their guns and everyone had a fantastic, fantastic time. 

I hope it all works out for you!  Your ideas sound lovely.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

*Hugs* I feel exactly as you do. Our wedding is rustic and in Miami. We have some uppity family members on both sides but we are paying for everything ourselves. It tends to be the older gen of family that really don’t get it. They kinda see it as “Why would you choose a barn when you have hotels, and beaches” but that’s not our style. I’m curious as to how some of our older Cuban family members will react to country and folk music Lol. I know it should be about our union, and what we want, but I get nervous about people not getting it or people judging us for it. Thinking our wedding looked a certain way because “we’re young” etc but I do my best not to worry. I have a great support system from my moh and bms. I do ask them if they think something is too casual and they are brutally honest about everything. ๐Ÿ™‚

Your wedding sounds absolutely wonderful, and if I were a guest I’d have a blast. Jersey has some awesome rustic spots! I even considered a wedding there since a chunk of my family lives up there. ๐Ÿ™‚

good luck! 

Post # 7
550 posts
Busy bee

@KoalaWalla:  Your ideas sound so very lovely, and something I had actually thought of as well.  Great minds. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think she might change her mind when she sees everything that day and sees how happy you both are. 

I’m lucky, I’ve always wanted to get married outside, that’s the one thing that was very important to me. My Fiance doesn’t really care (he is so adorable, his view is ‘I don’t really care about that but you do, so lets do it. If I really care about something and you don’t, we’ll do what I want.”), but I was really concerned about our folks. My mom’s response? “Yeah, I always figured you’d get married in the woods or a beach.” His family is just so happy we’re getting married in his hometown that we could be doing just about anything and they’d be happy. 

Post # 8
9 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014

1. Your wedding sounds so perfect. It is yours (You and your FI). Weddings should reflect who you are and your personalities; how you met, your traits, your character etc. Your Future Mother-In-Law should realize that you want to do something memorable that breaks the mold of convention.


2. I know exactly what you are going through. MY Future Mother-In-Law is a wonderful person. She’s great, but she’s very traditional and my mother is too. We are unconventional. My Fiance wants to go barefoot or in sandals for our wedding and skip the veil, but her mother refuses to budge. We want a wedding reception afterwards off-site in which we won’t be in attendance. My parents only tolerate our wedding-they certainly dont support it and our lack of tradition sticking alarms them. We also are forgoing the traditional wedding march in favor of an Annie Brooks song as the party and bride enter the church.




Go with your plans, it will be worth it. You will not forget a BBQ Wedding. Remember the wedding is extremely special in itself, but the every days of the marriage are just as meaningful or important as tradition bound obligatory wedding that isnt who you are as a couple. If you do the fun wedding, it shows who you are and it will be the source of happy memories because you decided to go the non-formatted route.


Post # 9
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@KoalaWalla:  I’d rather go to your wedding than a “normal” one for sure! ๐Ÿ™‚ We had a pretty oddball wedding, on an ancient historical ship, we were self-uniting atheists, with a reading from the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy. Our cake toppers were anime characters, our tables were (named after) fictional spacecraft, I wore blue and colored my hair pink for the occasion.

We kept everything on a need to know basis only, and let people sort things out for themselves when they got there. Everyone called it beautiful and wonderful and had a fantastic time. I’d taper off the information… when we were speaking freely about our plans we got a lot of flack, but as soon as we clammed up and just did our thing, no one had a chance to judge our ideas until they were all presented in context of our wedding day and everyone had a great time. 

Some people have a hard time imagining non-traditional ideas and worry too much about it, but when they see the final product, they get it.

Post # 10
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@KoalaWalla:  I think she’ll love it when she sees it all coming together.  She might be worried about all the little details because that’s what mothers do!

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