Ours kinda just..happened. We had been freinds FOREVER… like 8+ years.
He asked me to go get dinner with him one day and on the way told me it was a date. It scared me, and he noticed that I had gotten nervous, and he told me,
“we’ve gone out to get food just us so many times, why are you scared because it’s a differnt word than “hanging out”? I am not any different, you are not any different, so why is it a big deal? I am still going to make you laugh while you are drinking something and you will spit it all over the place ( its true, he does it all the time.) and hide your phone when you go to the bathroom. And you will try and steal my juice and throw the straw wrapper/napkin at me. There’s no reason to pretend to be anything we are not, and just be us, you and me, two friends that happen to be holding hands and kissing.”
I’ve been told by co-workers that they don’t think we’re real because we don’t fight,
that’s not true, we do, but we don’t run around screaming and bitching ot other people. We cool down, and then talk about whatever it is that bothers us I think being able to TALK to each other, being able to communicate your thoughts and feelings are important, and because we have such a background together, we know what to not do/say that will make the other shut down. For me it is being yelled at, I blow up and shut down… nothing productive will come from that. For him, it’s jewish mother guilt, he shuts down and just mopes and repetes “sorry.”
Previous SOs were….kinda like a drug, you needed a fix and if you didn’t see them, hang out with them, talk with them, I was a miserable Bitch.
I had to do a little bit of work on myself and say you know what, I am awesome, I do not need anyone to make me happy, I need to make myself happy and if I am not happy with ME alone, I will not be able to make anyone elce happy. I love Spending time with Mr. Birdie. we can spend 24/7/365 toghether and not get sick of each other. However, we both have very seperate lives, he likes karate, I love to dance. He has friends he likes to hang with, and I go a few towns away everyso often to hang with my MOHS.
We Want to be together, we don’t NEED to be toghether, and I think that is a big difference.