(Closed) How do I answer this email!?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh boo, I’m sorry you have to deal with this :/  I’d just tell her you’re sorry she can’t make it and she will be missed.  I guess just leave it at that, since there isn’t really anything else to say.

Post # 4
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

i had a close friend who had known about my wedding for almost a year ahead of time, had received the save the date, etc, everything similar to what youve done.  she never rsvpd on time so I had to follow up, and she said she had recently booked something else to do and that had she known which weekend my wedding was, she wouldnt have booked the other event.  I was very hurt but just said ok and havent spoken to her since.  she hasnt reached out to me either, so i guess we werent as close as i thought.  anyway thats how i dealt with something similar

Post # 5
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would leave the personal feelings out of this. It sucks to feel like “you’re being chosen or not chosen.” Just state the facts: Please just let me know by XYZ date on your attendance as my caterers need to have the headcount.

It’s not worth adding to your wedding stress with hurt feelings. If she does decline to host her other friend, and you feel your friendship is worth it; discuss with her after your wedding. It’s a reality on how weddings will sometime show how important people value their various friendships.

Post # 6
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Oh that definitely sucks!

I think I would just be honest with her. Chances are, she realizes that she’s chosing another friend over you and feels bad about it. Otherwise, she would have just RSVPed “no” and not offered an explanation. Sounds like she is between a rock and a hard place. She probably chose the other friend because you will be experiencing a happy time with lots of other people sharing in your joy while her other friend will be alone and upset. If she’s been so interested in your wedding up to this point, my guess is she’s bummed she won’t be able to make it since she’ll have the other friend in town.

I think it would okay to tell her that you’re hurt she won’t be there but understand that she’s trying to be a good friend to someone who needs it. I definitely wouldn’t take this too personally. Instead, I’d be thankful that my friend is the type of person that would give up something she was excited about in order to help someone else out.

 

Post # 7
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do you know the other friend?  Could she not come to your wedding?

Post # 9
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You can either offer to have her bring the visiting friend as a guest if it means she might be able to attend, or simply say that you’ll miss her at the wedding and hope to see her soon.

Post # 11
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@abbie017:  Hmm, that is a tough one. Do you think there is another reason she cant come and is using the friend as an excuse? Money problems?

 

Post # 12
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@abbie017:  Yeah I thought it was a reach :/ I would just tell your friend you’re really sorry she can’t be there, but you understand.  I’m not sure what else to really say 🙁

Post # 14
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@abbie017:  Ya thats a tough one then. I had a few friends do some weird things like that for my bridal shower. It’s hurtful and although I have moved on, it still hurts because I realized we werent as good of friends as I thought.

Post # 15
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@abbie017:  I don’t think so.  If you think you’re just gonna be a snarky ball of jerkiness why put either of you through it?  You probably need some more time to sort out your feelings.  I don’t blame you one bit!

The topic ‘How do I answer this email!?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors