(Closed) how do I apologize

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
9988 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m on the side of your parents.  You don’t owe your husband an apology but he owes you one.  He put you in an incredibly awkward and possibly dangerous situation. 

He let a stranger cook in your kitchen without your permission?  He blew you off when you voiced your concerns?  You’re 9 months pregnant with his baby?  OMG, I just want to slap him for you.

Post # 3
Member
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

He was completely inappropriate having his about-to-give-birth wife and your children leave the apartment to play games. I can’t even… if he wants those parties he could find other options, a hotel room or someone else’s house. The collectibles are a small issue to a larger problem

Post # 4
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would apologize for accusing his friends.  However I agree with your parents regarding to your bedroom and you should talk to him about it.  It’s a private area and it shouldn’t be a hang out place for friends.  This isn’t like college or something.  I don’t agree with you having to accommodate his wants for something like gaming when you are trying to provide a secure environment for your kids and you are so close to your due date.  

Post # 5
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

There’s no way I would have let him have that party at my house! If it was me, I would just tell him you found the collectibles but have a serious talk about how uncomfortable you were in your own home. Your about to give birth for petes sake and you have two children to care for. 

Post # 6
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

You don’t apologize to him, at all. He was a complete a** about this entire situation and there is no way he should have thought it was ok to inconvenience his pregnant wife and child to play computer games. I just…..UGH. 😡😡😡 I’d apologize to his friends directly but it would be a frosty day in hades before my husband got an apology over this incident. Although I never would have agreed to it from the start. His gaming get together could have been planned at someone elses home or months down the line from now at a more appropriate time. 

Post # 7
Member
626 posts
Busy bee

This was hard for me to read. The collectibles are not the problem. Expecting your pregnant wife and one year old child to sleep in the living room so that strangers can play videogames in the bedroom is the problem, and it’s a big one.

I’d book a couples therapy session immediately. This needs to be addressed. You have a basic right to safety in your home, and sleeping out in the open while strangers walk by you is NOT SAFE.

I’m livid just reading this.

Post # 8
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

monique637 :  Next time he wants to do that shit it can be at someone else’s house or they can all split the cost of an AirBnB. What the fuck. 

Apologize for accusing his friends but make sure he understands that this isn’t happening again. Treating your home (and bedroom!) like a college dorm common room shouldn’t have even crossed his mind. The fact that he’s acting like you are the one being unreasonable is mind blowing. I’d keep staying at my mom’s if I were you.

Post # 9
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I might be on the minority here, but I don’t think a lan party would be such a big deal for me -not even if it is on our master bedroom, or some “strangers”. I might worry or feel uncomfortable, yes, but not enough to go without speaking for a whole day!

I really think you should apologize, if anything because you did misplaces the figures. Afterwards, perhaps you can talk with him about how you felt having stranger in the house (strangers for you because they didn’t present themselves), and how you were worried when he left them alone in your house. Try not to accuse him, focus on your feelings not his sole actions. Also, keep in mind that while they might have been strangers for you, your husband probably considers them close friends.

Above all, is it really something so terrible to not apologize for?

And, well, In My Humble Opinion, he did nothing worth apologizing for, while you did. Could he have acted better? Yeah…but he’ll never know unless you communicate it.

Post # 10
Member
641 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Maybe if he at least walked over to you with his friends and introduced them, you wouldn’t be creeped out by them to the point of thinking they’re stealing stuff. It would also be nice if they said thank you for letting them camp out in your house all day while you take off with the kids. Do the bunch of them know there’s this thing called manners?

You totally jumped to conclusions though! I don’t know about you, but I become ridiculously absent minded when I’m pregnant. I lose all kinds of things and put stuff where it doesn’t belong. It goes missing very nicely without being stolen. So yeah, you both owe each other an apology.

Post # 11
Member
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree with a PP, it was a painful read. He’s allowing total strangers into your house overnight with your 2 small children, a very pregnant wife, and you’re supposed to sleep in the livingroom? He’s a child. Sorry. That’s total disregard and respect for you. Wouldn’t be okay with me. The collectibles are no biggie compared to that.

Post # 12
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee

OP, now would be a great time to tell us all the ways your husband is actually a great partner, because I’m at a loss as to why you even bothered going home when he pulled a stunt like this.  He asked his pregnant wife to sleep in the living room so he could play video games with absolute strangers in the bedroom?  He invited people over who were too rude to even speak to you, the owner of the the home they were in, but is angry at you for being inhospitable to complete strangers?  He left the mother of his 2 children with one on the way alone in a house with randoms?

AND YOU SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING????

Post # 13
Member
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Ummmm, what the hell?! He totally disrespected you, your home and your family. You don’t owe him an apology, he owes you one! Your bedroom is not some clubhouse for him to host a geek party with his friends. Which, by the way, there’s a reason that gamers who have LAN parties are all super young. By the time you’re married, in your late 20’s and have children, priorities should have shifted. Geeeez. I would lose my shit if my husband did that.

Post # 14
Member
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

He sounds like a man-child. This is NOT ok. You have nothing to apologize for – he does.

Post # 15
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee

I kept reading, and reading, and reading, looking for a reason for you to apologize. In the meantime, my blood was boiling. I eventually got to the thing about the collectibles. OMG who cares about the collectibles. Your husband is beyond ridiculous about moving you into the living room, etc. What a child.

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