(Closed) how do I apologize

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You’re 20 days away from giving birth and he even dared to suggest an all night gaming party, much less carry it out and allow all sorts of stupid shit to happen!? Omg you are way way nicer than I am. I would have laughed at the suggestion alone. And then said hell no. 

Post # 17
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

monique637 :  That situation is insane. My Darling Husband would never expect any of this of me or our kids. Your Darling Husband was being an inconsiderate jerk.

Post # 18
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Judging by this post as well as your other posts on here about your husband, it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. I really would try to get into counseling if you haven’t already. His priorities are definitely out of whack. 

Post # 19
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

It’s concerning that he let strange men in the house all night with his 5 year old daughter and 1 year old son. I’ve seen a few too many nauseating headlines that started out like that…   

Post # 20
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

No way would I of let him do that! The answer would of been NO there not coming over

Post # 21
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

monique637 :  He really needs to grow up, honestly I don’t believe gaming is anything like a sports related hobby.. and he can’t say its like “golfing” as no one golfs till 5 am, but that’s not the point.

I am actually shocked he has these kind of gaming parties when you have two kids in your house.

What he did was really immature and honestly would make me so furious if my adult husband behaved this way especially when baby #3 is on the way. 

Not only did he put you out (really… he thought it was appropriate for his wife to sleep on the couch?) but also your kid who shares the bed and also you have a 5 year old in the house and he thinks its okay to have literal strangers to you in the house with you and your children?

Tell him to get his shit together and grow up, you absolutely have nothing to apologize for and the fact that a grown man thinks its okay to have male strangers in the house overnight with a 5 year old daughter honestly makes me go ugh.

 

Post # 22
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Uhhh, OK, believe it or not I have been to a LAN party.  Was years ago when I was in college and World of Warcraft released their first expansion.  I don’t see why the router couldn’t be moved. That’s ridiculous lol.  Why would you have to apologize?

Post # 23
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

MissEloise :  Exactly what I thought. I honestly think that is the most wrong thing to me out of the whole post. Since OP hasn’t met some of them they obviously aren’t some amazing friends of his and its really concerning that a father would allow male strangers during the night anywhere close to his daughter :s.

Post # 24
Member
12292 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

The collectibles are so far aside from the point. They probably got moved when everything else was moved and you were virtually given no choice but to leave. Meanwhile you are nine months pregnant. with a baby and young child. What a complete jerk. 

Post # 25
Member
4062 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sure this will be an unpopular opinion,  but if you had an issue with the party, you shouldn’t have agreed to it. I’m not sayingI agree with your husband wanting to have it…but it sounds like you were resentful right from the start, and basically looking for things to justify that anger. So to answer your question,  I would apologize for not being upfront in the first place. I would say “I was resentful about the party all along, and I should have just said so, and told you that I wasn’t OK with you having it…but i swallowed those feelings,  and they came out when I thought the figurines were stollen”.

Post # 26
Member
11585 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

He wanted men he didn’t even bother to introduce to you to have access to his 5 year old sleeping daughter, sleeping pregnant wife, and sleeping 1 year old?!?!

please tell me this is a joke. 

Post # 27
Member
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Honestly, you had already lost me at these people came into your house and did not greet you. I fell down a rabbit hole when one of these people who is rude enough to not even speak to the lady of the house, started cooking, unattended in your kitchen and your husband left those strangers in the house with you alone. Everything else was just icing on this whole raggedy cake. He is dead wrong for this. Apologize about the figurines if you want to (I would), but definitely initiate a conversation about how uncomfortable and disregarded/disrespected you felt about the whole situation. Give concrete examples, don’t speak in generalities. “I was concerned for our daughter’s safety that there would have been strange men in our home while she slept” or what-have-you and most importantly, inform him that nothing like that will ever happen again. 

Post # 28
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee

My husband is a huge gamer, so I understand the craziness. However, it was very disrespectful considering how pregnant you are. Maybe he must felt like he needed to get one last good run in before the baby? IDK, did he talk to about the party before hand? Or did he just plan one? If he didn’t ask to have the party I would be beyond furious with him. But if he included you in the planning I wouldn’t be as mad. 

I definitely think you should apologize. I would start by saying that you found the bag and you are very sorry for accusing his friends and jumping to conclusions, however, you don’t know this people and they were strangers in your house so it was a natural reaction. Then bring up how having strangers in your house made you uncomfortable, especially with them being left alone. 

Post # 30
Member
5863 posts
Bee Keeper

If you’re a bit forgetful where you put things, what with the stress of being in the last days of pregnancy and looking after a five-year-old, a one-year-old & a selfish man-child, is it possible you shoved the collectibles up your DH’s ass when he suggested turning you and your children out of your own bedroom to sleep unprotected and without privacy in the living room so he could convert your bedroom into a frat house? Because I don’t think too many Bees would blame you if you did…

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