(Closed) How do I ask people not to bring their children to the wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

We worded our invitations with the words Adult Only Reception to Follow.  We also have told our family and friends to spread it word of mouth too.  I hope this helps.

Post # 4
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

See the "Related Posts" links in the green box below the posts? A lot of people have asked this question and gotten varied responses — it might be helpful to click through and read some of those. Hope that helps!

Post # 5
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

We did the same as mklove — we also posted the information on our website.  Because we did online RSVP we set our website up so that when people logged on to RSVP their name would show up with a place for them to mark if they were coming or not and their dinner selection — there was no place for them to type in a guest or kids name. 

Post # 6
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2018

My friend just addressed the invitation envelopes to the Mr. & Mrs. and luckily everyone got the hint when names weren’t listed for kids or any mention of the "family."

 

 

Post # 7
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

On our RSVP postcards we are putting at the top,"we have reserved x seats in your honor" It forces us to print a few different types but hopefully people will see they have 2 seats which maens NO KIDS!

Post # 8
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

You don’t ask them not to bring kids, you just address the invite to the parents only- not ‘and family’.

ie Mr. and Mrs. John Doe instead of Mr and Mrs.John Doe and family.

 

 

Post # 9
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You should word it in your invitation (if you didn’t make them yet.. ) and say "adult ceremony and reception only.)  I didn’t do that and people asked about bringing their kids.  I even addressed the invitation to the couple AND on the rsvp put "we have reserved __ seats in your honor."  Some people still didn’t get the hint and asked me anyways.  My response to them was that we didn’t have any room to accommodate children at my wedding.  THEN they said "we’ll just have ___ sit in our lap and we’ll have a stroller during the reception."  I had to explain that only family members were possibly bringing their kids because my whole family would be at the wedding but I had asked them to get a babysitter.  Sometimes people are just really rude and put brides in awkward situations.  I probably don’t know how it feels to have to get a babysitter but honestly, it’s not my problem!  🙂

Post # 10
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

The RSVP card, envelope addressing, and "Adults Only" are all great ideas.  Although honestly, as sal75 says, you will probably still have guests call and ask.  It helps to figure out in advance what you mean by "kids" – will you allow children over a specific age?  (We had a number of teen-aged kids at our reception and they were actually a lot of fun.)  Will you allow infants?  (If not, be prepared to have people with babies under a certain age not attend, or attend the wedding only – if you’re breast-feeding, you really can’t easily leave your child for hours on end, and quite frankly, pumping in the ladies room at the reception might be more trouble than your reception is worth to at least some of your guests.) 

Also, be prepared for this to be an issue for at least some people who have to travel.  We had a few guests leave their toddler-aged kids with Grandma and Grandpa for the weekend, but if that’s not an option, many parents aren’t comfortable leaving their child in a hotel room with a baby sitter they don’t know – and even if they are, they would probably need your help to find the sitter and convince her parents to let her spend the evening in a strange couple’s hotel room.

It is tempting to say that it’s not your problem, but that’s really true only if you just don’t care whether your guests with children are able to attend.  Otherwise, as always, the party-related problems of the guests are also the problems of the hostess.  I would try to recruit your mom, some aunts and cousins, and/or your bridesmaids to help with these issues.  Some venues will also provide a "children’s room" along with a staff member to babysit at little or no additional cost.

Post # 11
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If I were you, I’d offer to help Out of Town families find babysitters – maybe slip a personal note into their invitations if there aren’t too many of them?

Post # 12
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with worcesterbride…we are in the same boat.  With the save the dates and invitations for all Out of Town guests, we putting a note stating that child care services would be available for children.  Hiring a couple babysitters, ordering some pizza’s is going to be a whole lot cheaper than having the kids at the reception.

Post # 13
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

If it’s really about the money, you have some great suggestions from these bees… if it’s about keeping it kid-free, then be clear on your STD’s and Invites and website; everywhere.  It’s an an adult only event. Period.  You may lose some guests, but if it’s important to you, then that is how it goes. 

I feel your stress, we are planning an adult only destination wedding, and are getting lots of flack from family members and close friends who don’t want to leave their kids at home.  We are standing firm, and booked our events at a resort that does not allow kids under 16.  We are not going to have anyone under 21 though.  

Post # 14
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We are only having the children of our immediate family member’s at our wedding.  We have been spreading the word and hoping that it gets out to everyone via word of mouth.  We just simply couldn’t accomodate all of the children (there are over 100!!). Rather then trying to decide which friend or cousin gets to bring their kids, we drew the line at our nieces and nephews only. We are addressing the invites to "John and Sally Jones" in the hopes that everyone will know that it means only John and Sally and not the kids.

Post # 15
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We are having an adults only reception as well.  Its normal in my fiance’s family as it is HUGE but not at all common in my family.  In fact, I am pretty sure I am the first.  It caused a little issue with my aunt whose grandkids (my second cousins) aren’t invited.  She’s a little older and hadn’t really heard of it but she got over it.  With our save the dates we had an enclosure that said "When making your travel arrangements, please consider that we are having an adult reception.  We hope that you will be able to join us in celebration of our marriage!"  We are also again mentioning it on our invitation.  Good Luck!

Post # 16
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My problem is this; the only people with kids that will be there are the people in my bridal party and the groom’s party.  All but 2 of 10 have little children.  I would have no problem telling guests to leave their rugrats with the grandparents, but i am finding it difficult to relay this info to my closest friends. especially the ones who live far away and whos parents will be guests and therefore not available for baby sitting. 

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