(Closed) How do I ask single guest if they will need/who is their specific +1 is?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

How many single guests are you inviting? And how close are you to them?



Post # 4
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Brussels, Belgium

Since you’re close can you just ask if there is something they would like to bring and if so what is their name?

Post # 5
3037 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I would think that if you’re close enough to them that you’d have some idea if/who they’re dating? no? 

I don’t even talk to my cousin on a regular basis but I am friends with her on facebook and I ususally know if she’s dating someone serious. My guest list is tight, so I really don’t have any “and guest”. If I dont know of or haven’t met the guest, they’re not coming. This is really only an issue with a few cousins, 2 of which are still high school age so I don’t really think they need a date. 

Post # 6
4892 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We gave everyone who wasn’t dating anyone (so, really… single), a plus one. When they RSVP’d and only indicated that they wanted one meal, we knew it would just be them. If they RSVP’d for 2, then we knew they would have someone with them.

Our RVPS’s also stated “We have resvered ___ seats in your honor”, so that indicated 2 so they knew they could invite someone. It was also addressed to them that way too. “Name and Guest”.

If you don’t know, I’d ask!

Post # 7
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yes! Ask! I’ve seen it on the boards (I am by no means an etiquette expert) and this is the difference with naming the guest and just adding “guest” to their invite:

a. if you write John and Sally on the invitation and for whatever reason Sally can’t come, then John cannot simply substitute her for Mary wo talking to you first. Then YOU get to make the call whether to allow this or to grab someone from your hidden B list and say ok long lost cousin Abby can now come because the numbers allow it.

B. If you write John and guest on their invite then they can ask Sally and if she’s busy or whatever that day then he can ask his friend Bob or Mary or whomever without running it by you and your long lost cousin Abby stays in the B list.

So it’s up to you if you truly mean bring whomever you want (“guest”) or bring a particular date “and Sally.”


Post # 8
10364 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

You can phone or email to ask for the name and address of anyone special that your friends or relatives are dating.  Then send a separate invitation in the name of that person to their address, or one invitation if they are living together. 

I dislike the “seats reserved in your honor” language since it implies either your guests can’t read an invitation or you don’t trust them to reply appropriately. 

Post # 9
8007 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t think it’s offensive to just ask. You have a legitimate reason to ask for the invitations. What if they do mention an unsavory character that they want to bring as +1 though?

Post # 10
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

You can call/email/text and ask, “Are you dating anyone you would like us to invite?”


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