(Closed) How do i ask someone to be my matron of honor?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

How wonderful that she is stepping up!! Was she already one of your bridesmaids? It would be easier to “promote” someone from bridesmaid to Maid/Matron of Honor than to leap-frog that step. 

I would just talk to her and say something like “I am SO appreciative of your offer to throw me a shower! I’ve been thinking and, if you’d like to, I’d really like to honor your support by making you my MOH– especially since I met Fiance at your wedding!”

Post # 5
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think it’s too late at all. She understand the situation and it sounds like she is very supportive. I’d totally ask her to be your Matron of Honor. And I think what Corgi wrote is totally appropriate.

Post # 7
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Good luck & let us know how it goes!! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Are you sure you want to make this decision so quickly.  Reading your other post, I would seriously recommend taking a few days to do nothing.  Your sister just dealt you a blow.  While this woman has been super helpful, you probably should step back from the situation and evaluate it when you are less angry with your sister. Just my opinion.

Post # 9
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think heather’s suggestion might be good. just to let the decision sit for a few days in case something changes

Post # 11
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Tammy, I feel for your situation.  And if you have thought it through then go for it.  Depending on who you ask, a maid or matron of honor is traditionally the person to whom you are closest, not the person who is doing a ton of work for your wedding.  You said you have other bridesmaids?  Are they your close friends?  I just find it a bit odd that a woman that wasn’t in your wedding to begin with is now getting the highest bridal party honor.  It’s nice to show appreciation, but I encourage you to think about whether this is the way you want to express it.  If you have thought it out, more power to you and I hope that everything turns out wonderfully.

Post # 13
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

This also happened to me! I actually had picked out my Maid/Matron of Honor and was happy about the decision to begin with, but regretted it afterwords. She was my high school best friend. She was the “cool” and “popular” girl, so I basically followed her around and realized that’s what happened when she came down here to visit. She came down here & we were doing great & she said she was now living where I was, so I thought it’d be perfect.

But come to find out, she only needed me for a place to stay at the time & some food to eat, she didn’t care at all about me…she decided she was going to go back home and didn’t even give me the heads up. I just knew with her moving away she wouldn’t be my Maid/Matron of Honor, we actually didn’t even discuss the issue about her not being the Maid/Matron of Honor, she just left and that was that.

So, I didn’t know WHO I was going to ask at that point. My brothers girlfriend & I used to be really good friends in HS, but when she got with my brother I guess jealousy kind of got the best of me & we didn’t get along. But then I asked her to be a bridesmaid, and ever since then she was SO sweet and so willing to help. So after everything happened, I called her and said that she should’ve been my first choice for my Maid/Matron of Honor. I explained to her how me & my first Maid/Matron of Honor were getting along great at the time, but I was blinded and didn’t realize she wouldn’t have worked out in the end.

She was very understanding! I couldn’t have been happier that she is my Maid/Matron of Honor. & my good friend actually got married a few months ago & her Maid/Matron of Honor dropped out too, so she made another girl her Maid/Matron of Honor and picked me up as a bridesmaid, I didn’t feel second best at all!

Just tell her that she’s been a huge help & that you know she’d be the perfect Maid/Matron of Honor for you. I know it’ll all work out!

Post # 14
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think she will be very honored and flattered that you are asking her this! Just make sure you ask and let her make her own decision..give her a few days if needed! She sounds like she will be there for you! Good luck

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