(Closed) How do I avoid becoming a Bridezilla?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

My best advice is to stick to your guns and not lose focus on what is really important. If a small, backyard affair is really what you want, it’s do-able. I think that brides get suckered into all these opinions from others about what they have to do that they lose sight of what their original plan was.

Just remember this, there is not one, single thing that you are required to do and no one that you a required to invite. In the end, it’s in your hands whether you choose to let it get out of control or not.

(This is coming from a person who had a small wedding. I did it, so can you.)

Post # 4
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would say don’t put ALL of your energy and time into wedding planning and stick to your original vision. Do not let others pressure you into having a bigger/more elaborate wedding than you want.

Maybe talk to your FI/or MOH/or Mom and tell him/or her your ideas and ask him to make sure you stick to them and don’t get out of control.

Post # 5
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@zippylef: Delegate! Tell your BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor what you would like them to help you with.  Most of the time they want to know what you need help with and be more than happy to help.  Don’t be afraid to ask them to help you by going with you to appointments, or giving you their opinion.  Trying to do everything yourself and not asking anyone for help could leave you bitter and way stresses out!

Post # 7
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Foreverblonde345: I think it sounds secretive, but wildly romantic. What a fun little secret you guys will be able to share.

Post # 8
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

In addition to planning my own wedding, I work in the industry.  A lot of brides get bogged down and overrun by family expectations.

Make a list of priorities and refer back to it often.  Mine are to stick to the budget, be amazing hosts and to have fun.  So decor and things that don’t directly benefit the comfort/funtimes of the guests–including my dress!–are less important to us.  When I start looking at dresses that cost more than the venue rental, I refer back to the list and remind myself of what is truly important.

Also think about things that you and your fiance absolutely will not compromise on–like the number of guests or the type of food served.  These usually are featured on the priority list.  Then, don’t compromise on those things.  Say “I appreciate your input but we’ve made this decision already.”  Keep in mind things that you will compromise on–for me, as long as the budget is kept in mind, I don’t really care about flowers and most of the decor–so when moms or other invested relatives get all up ins about wanting things a certain way, I can be like hey what’s your input on these things and they can feel like they are more involved and have some control.

Make a realistic budget and stick to it!  Weddings are not worth going into debt over.  Sex and money are the two top issues marriage counselors encounter with couples.  Don’t set yourself back by starting your married life in debt.  It’s just a fancy party at the end of the day–it will be such a blur and you won’t remember that you disliked the napkin rings you bought because they were half the cost of the ones you loved.  Your programs and personalized cocktail napkins and crap like that will be thrown away at the end of the night.  You, your mom and maybe your inlaws will keep one or two of those things.  Don’t get emotionally invested in all of the details unless you can afford it.

And finally–have fun!  When you start to get overwhelmed, take a break and do something else.  Make sure to keep your relationship with your fiance going strong–go on dates and don’t talk about the wedding.  Watch a movie in your PJs and put the DIY away.  This is supposed to be a fun time–manage your time and try not to get stressed out.

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