(Closed) How do I break the news

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Why does he need to ask? What will happen if your father says no? Still marry you? Then what’s the point of asking?

Post # 5
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@byrdi:  Tell him to tell BOTH of your folks at the same time. I dont know about you, but my mom helps tamp down my dads crazy reactions sometimes.

Post # 6
Member
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@byrdi:  I understand that. I guess I find asking for a father’s blessing to be quite dated. If you don’t want their opinions, explain that to him and explain what may happen if he asks to him. If you think there is a good chance your father will say no, tell him that straight up. What will happen if your father does say no? What will your boyfriend do? If you both will still get married, I’d just tell your father that he’s going to propose and allow him to deal with it.

Post # 9
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@byrdi:  hmm. Well Perhaps if he takes them to lunch or brings them a nice gift as well. That well they can be impressed with his bravery and willingness to do it.

Oh it also might help if in passing before hand you mention that you don’t know why that tradition even exist to your folks (and that you told your bf as much). That way when he does it, theyll know that it is completely from him and a sign of how much he respects them.

 

Post # 10
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee

@Hyperventilate:   +1

I also find the whole “asking father for permission” thing to be kinda outdated- but it is respectful (in my opinion) to request their blessing beforehand. There is a difference between blessing and permission, I think. Personally, I would tell my parents “SO is respecting you by asking, I would like you to respect him and be nice. We are getting married either way, but we would like to have your blessing.”

Post # 12
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I second the suggestions to ask for blessing rather than permission. If he asks for their permission and they refuse it, what then? Whereas if they don’t give you guys their blessing, oh well.

Post # 14
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think it says a lot of positive things about your boyfriend that he wants to do it properly and stand by tradition. These days it’s really more of a symbolic gesture so I would do what the other girls are saying and just tell your dad “he’s going to propose, I really want this, please be nice dad he’s going to be in my life forever”.

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