(Closed) How do I choose bridesmaids?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i think it would be fun to have an obstacle course complete with a scavenger hunt for about ten ladies and the top three winners get to be bridesmaids =)

seriously, maybe we should all start choosing this way.  

Post # 4
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t ask anyone I’m not close to.

Post # 5
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think you have to ask FI’s sisters. Picking bridal party is personal choice. Decide who in your life is important to you and who would want to be there for you. If you are close with FI’s sister then go for it but I don’t think its a requirement. My Fiance has 6 sisters so there is NO way I could have all of them. 

Post # 6
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Fiance and I actually talked about who we’d like before we let anyone know. I have brothers and sisters, FI’s an only child. I really wanted my siblings in the wedding but I didn’t want to take up 2 of his ‘spots’ for my brothers. If he’d rather have friends, I’d put them on my side. Maybe your Fiance really wants his sisters up there, maybe he doesn’t mind at all. As AltarEgo, pick the people that are important to you, not out of an obligation you may feel you have. 

Post # 7
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Pick whoever you want. You’re not obligated to have your sisters or his! Do whoever is closest to you.

I think there are a few common misconceptions…

1. you have to have your sister as Maid/Matron of Honor.

2. you have to ask your FI’s sister

3. you have to have even number of groomsmen and bridesmaids

Just do whatever you feel is right. I got really stressed because I had in my mind I shouldn’t have more than 5 bridesmaids but I had 7 people. In the end, I picked all of them and I’m so happy I did!

If your FI’s sister isn’t close to you, you can also honor her by asking her to do a reading or something. Be creative and don’t let anyone pressure you with “rules”

Post # 8
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Ask who you want.  I never had my 2 SILs as I had only met them once before and it would have been a slap in the face to my good friends who have been supportive during my life. 

Post # 9
4485 posts
Honey bee

No you are not obligated in any way to include your fiance’s sisters or other female relatives. You pick whomever you are closest to (and who is most supportive of your relationship) whom you want to stand up with you. You also are not required to have anyone, as the number is solely your choice. You don’t even have to have the same number of attendants as what your fiance picks.

Post # 10
7295 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i didn’t feel obligated to my FI’s sister. but she is a bit older and so instead i asked her daughter!  which i did simply because i wanted to. 

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