Post # 1
My fiance has been best friends with his best man since they were babies (they even had their own language as toddlers!) but almost a year ago best man cheated on his lovely girlfriend with a girl he used to know from school (let’s call her Ann).
Ann managed to persuade best man to move in with her after 2 months, get engaged after 4 months and they got married last week (abroad, so we got out of attending). They claim to be madly in love which I could perhaps accept if this wasn’t the third time she’d been engaged (she’s only 23) and had moved as equally fast with all previous fiances. She also perhaps wouldn’t have bothered me so much if she hadn’t gone out of her way to ensure my fiance and his best man barely see each other any more.
I won’t go into detail over all the things shes done only to say I’ve only met her twice, we’ve never been invited to their house, everytime we’ve invited them to ours they don’t show up or even bother to make excuses and they showed up 4 hours late to our engagement party and left after 50 minutes!
We’re having a small intimate wedding of only our closest family and friends (45 people) and as Best Man’s wife now, I can’t get away with not inviting her. It just really bugs me that she’ll be one of the people watching us get married when it’s perfectly clear she doesn’t care about us as a couple.
I also heard through the grapevine that she was utterly vile about her own best friend’s wedding, criticising everything from the flowers to the music!
Any tips on how I can mentally block her out?!
Post # 3
From what it sounds like, you don’t really have to see her much, or talk to her, or hear her criticize your wedding. From what it sounds like, she does not matter at all to you. Yes, she’ll be there. But just breathe and remind yourself that what you are doing matters to you and you don’t care what she thinks.
She sounds like an utterly worthless person. So why let what she says or does mean so much to you?
Post # 4
Just ignore her. If you can’t, remind yourself in your head that she is a horrible, miserable person who has to cut others down to make herself feel good about herself and seeks validation through a succession of men/engagements. That should do it.
Post # 5
She only makes herself look like a cow when she acts like that. Trust me, everyone will know she’s only there because you had to invite her. Don’t even think about her on your day, she’s not worth it.
How is your FI dealing with this? Aside from her being a crazy b*tch, does he ever talk to his BM about their friendship?
Post # 6
your words are very strong and judging. You have only met her twice. In fact, there are many couples who’s relationship happened quickly. These words like “shes only 23” are just… mean on your part. You dont know her!!! Who are you to say She’s been engaged 3 times and is therefore a terrible human being?
I understand you don’t like her but as it looks, you’re not really helping the situation, you’re not exactly trying to be accepting.
Post # 7
Everyone knows what shes like so people will pretty much ignore her. I don’t know why I get so hung up on her – I think it’s because through her actions she has upset my fiance by almost completely ruining his friendship with best man. I hate seeing my loved ones hurt in any way – the lioness kicks in!
@PinkPinstripes – My fiance just wants his best man there and understands shes part of the package. He makes jokes about her and thinks BM is insane for going through with marrying her but is much more tolerant and understanding than me! He hasn’t really spoken to BM about it as he hasn’t had chance thanks to her. He has to give a speech next week at their reception when they get back from abroad and is struggling over what to say about the ‘happy couple’!