(Closed) How do I deal with this ignorant text??

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think, while perhaps it was a bit tactless, I wouldn’t define it as ignorant. It sounds as if he is just inquiring to the bar to find out if they should plan for a late, party-like night or something more low key (and therefore could meet an early appt). I would just respond with the same response your planner suggested and let it go. You have too many other things to be worrying about 5 days before your wedding! πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
8365 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@MrsTahoe:  I agree- it is probably especially likely in this case that since he has only recently moved back to town and will be catching up with friends at your wedding it might turn into even more of a celebration.

Post # 6
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Imhisbride:  Well, with all due respect, isn’t part of the point of having an open bar so that people can drink larger amounts? If you intend on curbing drinking, having an open bar probably isn’t the way to do that! πŸ™‚ But granted, you don’t want people coming just to get smashed either, I totally get that.

But don’t let this one random thoughtless comment let you question your wedding decisions. Put this worry in a bubble, and blow it away!

Post # 7
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m sorry I don’t think it’s that bad. I think that’s one of the down sides of an open bar. Also, sounds like he just wants to know what kind of night to plan on, so that they can figure out their Sunday plans. I would just respond like your wedding planner said. 

Post # 8
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Imhisbride:  I don’t think ‘ignorant’ is the right word.  Presumptuous, tasteless, and a wee bit cringe worthy are closer to it.  And honey, its too late – it’s an open bar.  Just make sure you give your bartender strict ‘nobody is served after they have had too much’ rule.

Post # 9
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

But didn’t you already pay a fixed rate per person for the open bar? Wouldn’t you want your guests to take advantage of that? I don’t think its a rude text at all… I just think he feels comfortable around you and wants to have a good time at the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, I think that most people would tell you that they’d drink way more at an open bar than a cash bar… open bar tends to imply more heavy drinking, plus who wouldn’t drink more when it’s free compared to when you have to pay for everything? While it probably wasn’t super tactful to ask, his last text makes it sound like he wasn’t trying to be offensive, he was just asking. I agree with the others… try to just push it from your mind, it’s not a detail worth worrying about.

And I think June 16th is a great day to get married πŸ˜‰

Post # 12
Member
3226 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah – I can see how it could be rude…but at the same time, if you’re paying for open bar…you’d probably want people to take advantage of that!

Post # 15
Member
6823 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Imhisbride:  I think you are blowing it out of proportion really. Was it a little rude yeah but not ignorant. You perhaps, are bit stressed with your wedding 5 days out.  Try to relax and don’t let the little things get to you such as this. 

Post # 16
Member
8365 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Imhisbride:  Couldn’t you also say that it is ignornat to say that just because an event has an open bar that guests are going to get smashed?

Open bars are pretty much at every wedding I have been to and I don’t think I have ever seen more than one or two people that the average person would consider smashed!

Having four or five drinks vs one or two vs ten isn’t irresponsible- every body metabolises alcohol differently and every body has varying degrees of hangover.

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