(Closed) How do I deal?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Ask the venues you’re interested in if you can talk to other brides who have used them.  Then ask the brides to send you photos.  I think most would be helpful.

I don’t think you’re out of line for being frustrated since they asked.  But, you may need to take things into your own hands for your own sanity!

Post # 5
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think maybe you’re being a bit demanding.  They’re your relatives, not vendors.

The week prior to Thanksgiving is usually pretty busy for most people – either they’re preparing to host a boatload of people or getting ready to schlep to another state – and venue hunting just may not fit into the schedule.  This is particularly true if they work.

Have you considered that they’re trying to get things done, but other forces are causing the delay?  It’s not FMIL’s fault that Unle Bob wan’t pick up his dang phone to confirm the house number, or that the venue won’t e-mail her back to schedule a viewing because, again, it’s the week before a major holiday.

Keeping weddings in perspective is difficult, but it’s important to remember that just because it’s at the top of your to-do list doesn’t mean it’s at the top of theirs – and that’s okay.  It sounds like maybe it would be easier on everyone if you relocated the wedding to MA, where you would be able to have more personal involvement.  If that’s not possible, I’d say ease up a bit.  It’s not worth alienating your future family or stressing yourself out this way. 

Post # 6
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I’m also planning long-distance (though not as long as yours, still can’t really travel there due to crazy work schedule). I try not to rely on other people for key elements of the wedding even if they offer. Their heart may be in the right place, but for any number of reasons they may not be able to do it. It sucks and it’s not right, but that’s how it is. I think I would consider myself really lucky to find someone to help who would actually follow through with everything and go check out places for me.

In summary, I guess my opinion is, don’t rely on people, and then you won’t be disappointed if they don’t do what they said, and will be pleasantly surprised if they do.

 

Post # 8
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@Dizzy – Thanks for the clarification – that’s a veryveryvery different situation!  Yeah, it does sound like they want to help but don’t have the time or the wherewithal to stay on top of things.

Can you afford to work with a planner in the Milwaukee area? 

Post # 10
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Definately go to the Wisconson board. There are a lot of bees in Milwaukee. Also put up a couple ideas of vendors and we can try to get some pics up or general thoughts. I like in Madison, Wi , but Fiance is from Milwaukee. Maybe you could get some more input if you give more details:)

I really love the Lake Front Brewery there. If is this huge open space that is gorgeous, we looked into doing there, but the minimums were more than our small budget would allow for.

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