(Closed) How do I decide between the two….

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

As a child of divorce with a father who chose the woman for 2 years, our relationship never recovered. I don’t trust him at all and he regrets his decision still. You’re working with “what-if’s” and dreams. Does this woman like children? Do you think she’d stay if you asked her? How long is her degree program? Perhaps, long distance would be a good place to start then when shes graduated maybe you could find a place together that’s somewhat near your children.

Tough choice but you chose to bring those children into this world, don’t let them down.

Post # 17
Member
3062 posts
Sugar bee

anon27: 

“But on the other hand, how do you decide between the absolute love of your life and your babies?”

ummm you don’t. It is a pretty clear choice. I am not saying you are not a good dad here, i don’t know you. But as a kid of divorce, it is pretty shitty when you are old enough to realize that dad isn’t here all the time because he moved away to have another family with someone else. 

Some dads dont have a choice and do their best at being a long distance dad. You have a choice. 

This girl is “wishy washy” anyway. Why cant you guys try long distance or some other compromise. You cant ask her to give up her dream, but she can ask you to leave your kids behind?

 

 

Post # 18
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

My parents divorced when I was just a baby and my father was in a simliar situation with you.  He met the love of his life when I was 5 years old and she was moving to another country. He had to choose to either a.) get married to her and move to another country with her or b.) stay and be a part of my life. 

He chose B! It’s been 25 years now and when I turned 12 my parents re married and I am forever grateful my father raised me and is part of my life. 

He has forgotten about the other woman a long time ago and he knows he made the right decision for himself.

you can always fall in love again but its your children that comes first. They will thank you when they are grown up. 

Post # 19
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

What type of woman is she to have you consider leaving your children behind for her?  What type of person does that?! If you two marry, would she even want to be a step-mother?

You’re a dad.  Your kids come first.  There a billions of women on Earth; Why abandon your responsibilities for one???

Why even consider it?  You said it yourself that you’re not a summer or “phone call” dad.  How would you feel if your young kids have someone else step in to father them if you leave them for some woman?

This woman will not give up her dream for you or anyone else.  Do you think if she had children, she’d leave them for you if the roles were switched? Um no.  Like she said, she wants her cake and wants to eat it too.  To her, the world revolves around her.  When she relocates, she’ll find another man and not think twice about you.  “Feelings” can develope with anyone.

Why is this even up for discussion?????? Use the head on your shoulders, man.

Post # 20
Member
953 posts
Busy bee

You made those babies and they are tour responsibility. It has nothing to do with being in love or who you love more or whatever crap that goes with it. 

Your responsible for them. Not only financially, but emotionally. You should never have left to begin with. You should also be responsible to their mother. She should not be the sole care giver to YOUR children.  Being parents is a mutual responsibility and your love life and sex life and social life all come AFTER their needs are met. 

If this girl is saying it’s her or the kids. The bitch needs to hit the curb face first.

Post # 21
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

This guy chose a job over his kids… He’s not above chosing a woman over them.  Also,what woman would ask a man to leave his small children for her?  Both are shameless and self-centered.

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