(Closed) How do I distance myself from a new friend?

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 3
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would first let her know that you don’t appreciate her bashing your SO, and that it makes you uncomfortable. However, I have no tolerance for “friends” that act like bitches, lol. Anyway, if that doesn’t help the situation, then start talking to her less, declining lunches… maybe start going to lunch with SO instead, say that you two want to have mid-day dates, if possible? 

Post # 4
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If all she can respond with is a sad face, then she has a little growing up to do…

I’d probably suck it up and do one more lunch. If she brings your relationship up, tell her that you don’t like mixing your personal life with work and that topic is off limits. If she gets out of hand, tell her honestly that she’s making you hurt and uncomfortable judging your boyfriend that way and you’re not interested in a stressful lunch. 

Post # 6
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Every time she asks to go out just say no. Eventually she’ll get the hint.

or just tell her lunch with her isn’t relaxing so she should stop asking.

Post # 7
2213 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@tiedtogetherwithasmile:  Stop talking about your relationship around her.  If she asks personal questions about your relationship, give vague answers, and redirect the conversation toward something in her life.  People LOVE to talk about themselves.  Eventually, she should stop talking badly about your guy and the way you choose to live.

Or, just keep saying no to lunch, like others have suggested.  🙂

Post # 8
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@tiedtogetherwithasmile:  Hopefully after you decline many of your lunch dates together she will get the clue that you dont want to hang out with her. If shedoes ask why you are not wanting to hangout with her I would just be honest and let her know that you dont appreciate her analyzing you relationship. Who knows she might be one of those people that never get a clue so you might have to evetually spell it out for her lol  

Post # 9
7691 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think what you’re doing now is perfect: running errands, etc instead of having lunch with her. Completely ignore the saddy faces and notes about how she misses your lunch dates. No need to respond to those at all. If she says something about it in person, a non-comittal “I know” should suffice.

If you stay aloof and professional, she should get the hint. I wouldn’t confront her directly since you work together. Too much potential for YOU to end up looking like the drama queen when she is obviously the one who needs to grow up and keep her nose out of other people’s business. 

Good for you for ending this quickly though, instead of letting it drag on and drag you down. Life is too short and too precious. You gave her a chance, it didn’t work, so move along. 🙂

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