(Closed) How do I do this??? Sorry Long post

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Maybe you should get something else (less expensive if you like) for all of them and hand that gift out during the rehersal dinner.  And then some other time when you’re just with your good friends you can give them the other gift as a special thank you for their love and support and all the extra work they put in.

I wouldn’t give out gifts of different values — a lump of coal versus a bag of candy kind of different — all at the same time.  It’s okay if the gifts are different since not all your bridesmaids may like the same things.  But to give gifts of obviously different worth could appear meanspirited to your sister in laws (and to anyone else watching).  These are women you’ll have to be able to get along with for a long time — that’s probably why you asked them to be in the bridal party in the first place.  Do what I do — keep your chin up and your mouth closed.  Even.  Though.  It’s.  So.  Hard.

Post # 4
44 posts
  • Wedding: September 2018

I agree with parts of what bluegreenjean said, but I would still get the gifts you want to give your BF’s but give it to them privately.  They will appreciate that you noticed all the time and effort you placed into your shower/b-party and I’m sure they will understand that you don’t want to "rock the boat".


Post # 5
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I got everyone 2 gifts that were the same as everyone else and 1 different gift that I knew they would like (1 got an apron, 1 got satin PJs, 1 got a necklace, etc.), but the different gifts were all around the same price range. I definitely think you should give your BFs different gifts (it’s much more thoughtful, and I think they’ll really appreciate it) and don’t give it to them in public, but will your SIL think it’s weird that she got a gift at the rehearsal dinner and your BFs didn’t? Maybe skip the gifts at the rehearsal dinner and give each person their gifts in private.

PS — Why are SILs such awful BMs?!

Post # 6
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

What if you got tall of the a card and a gift card for $20 or something to aplace they like to shop – then you give tham all something at the dinner and gift the other maids you want to give a bigger gift to later in the evening. Or even the day before.

I think that you want to do is fine. I too have had this thought and I support your decision to do it 100%


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