How do I explain that a DOC is worth it?

posted 2 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I live in Chicago so it’s a very expensive area for weddings.  I found a similar price range for DOC but was still able to find someone who does everything I need for about $800.  Look at specific vendors that are rated to be less expensive on places like theknot or weddingwire, and then email a bunch of them to get quotes.  You might still be able to find someone who will work better within your budget, and I found that many of them are great at explaining what my options were within the price range I gave them.

Post # 3
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I never even thought about a DOC until we started the vendor process.  Was highly recommended by all vendors to have one.  We were told that the photographer didn’t show up – do you or your fiancé really want to deal with that while getting ready?  A DOC can handle fires while bride and groom can focus solely on the stress of getting married, not the stress of things going wrong.  Our DOC set up our decor (not that we had a lot, but I didn’t have to worry about it!) and made sure vendors got their tips, and handled logistics.  Even in the planning process, asked us questions about details we didn’t even think about.  Ours came from a HCOL and was probably 1700-1800.  A bit higher than we were hoping but she was well worth every penny and for peace of mind.

Ask your fiancé – does he want vendors coming into his dressing room the day of asking “where does this go?” Or being told “hey the cake baker is late.” 

Post # 5
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I’d use an analogy that he can relate to, pref a work related analogy. For ex, if he’s in customer service, ask him, is it humanly possible to take 5 phone calls at the same time, fix a clogged toilet, and write up a report, and do it all while smiling, posing for photos, and not breaking a sweat with over a hundred eyes on you? 

If a vendor gets a flat tire and they’re running late, who are they going to call? Is your designated friend supposed to pick up their phone in the middle of the ceremony to deal with this? If an unwelcome guest crashes the wedding, who’s going to find them a place to sit? Is your “friendor” guest going to have to interrupt their own meal to handle a wedding crasher? You can’t be the star and director of your show. You’re not Mel Gibson! I’d explain to your fiance that an additional 1k may seem like much, but it’s like an insurance policy. If you’re spending 30k already, you want this party to go right. With over 100 guests, you def need some form of DOC. Tell fiance that you get what you pay for and a family member is not going to know how to handle last minute fires. You are paying this DOC to handle the stress and unknowns, it’s well worth it. I would also find out what your venue coordinator does, however, and see if they’re willing to take on additional tasks. Sometimes your caterer will also be willing to double as your planner.

Post # 7
748 posts
Busy bee

I had to convince my husband to get a DOC too. It’s hard to understand as a wedding guest what they do behind the scenes so when you’re the wedding couple it seems like an extra expense. Their ability to fly under the radar is one of their talents. To justify it to my now husband, I explained it as going through the house buying process without a realtor. It’s their job they are the expert and have the insider info. They’ve done it a hundred times over and can predict all of the things that can go wrong and quell them before they even begin. How much is your sanity worth? On our wedding day I had NO sense of time, our day would have been a nightmare without her for all the little things that popped up she solved in two minutes that would have ended up eating up all our Reception time if we had to deal with it ourselves. 

Post # 10
4684 posts
Honey bee

He doesn’t get it because he won’t be the one getting the calls!

Despite having a partial planner, you would not believe how many people called or texted me day of (and the day before and day after) with questions or issues. The default is to call/text the bride. Even my now husband texted me with an issue (dude???). All I had to do was give them our planner’s number and let him handle it. He was magical.

The biggest issue that he handled was a last minute delivery situation. Our cake delivery person flaked, and round trip to pick it up had turned from 1.5 hours into 3+ due to traffic so sending family/friends would not have worked. He had it handled it flawlessly. Without him, we would not have had a cake.

We also saved money based on his vendor recs and insight into what things should cost. So I would add vendor recs to your scope of services.

Post # 11
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Definitely get quotes, but the only regret I had for my wedding was that we didn’t spend more on the DOC. We found some cheap ones, they seemed compitent and we got a long, so I hired them. You definitely get what you pay for. They did nothing. My mom and dad and their friends were sweating running around setting everything up. My DOC’s looked bored, were dressed in jeans and backpacks (seriously someone thought they were a high school aged cousin) and just not able to handle what we had discussed. So if you are getting a lot of quotes, don’t just go for the lowest one! 

Post # 12
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

I had to convince my fiance to get a DOC too, he wasn’t super happy about it. He’s not that involved in wedding planning, so I said if anything went wrong on the day of, he wouldn’t know what to do. I’d have to do it, and there’s no way I’m spending 30K on our wedding just to stress and manage stuff throughout the day. I want to be able to enjoy the day I’ve planned, so if that means spending an additional $1600 (that’s how much ours is, a friends and family rate on a certified wedding coordinator), then I’m going to do it.

We’re both really against the idea of using our friends as free labour, and his family is not that helpful, and I don’t want to have my family bear the burden of labour either, so we essentially have no alternatives but to hire someone.

I’m pretty sure I’m just going to give my phone to my DOC the day of. I know people will call me so instead of trying to transfer everyone, she can just take my phone.

Post # 15
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

We’re not getting a DOC. I have covered all of the foreseeable bases, and anything that I did not, the venue’s event manager is there to deal with. If someone is late, not a big deal. I am also in a field that makes me very used to calling people up and being like “wtf are you doing” so that’s not really a headache for me if the unimaginable happens.

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