Post # 1
…that no one on her side is invited to the wedding? My mother’s family is large and loud and nuts. I love them they’re my uncles, aunts, and cousins, but I’m having a small wedding and neither my fiance nor I wants to have them myself because of the extra cost and my fiance because he has never met them before.
Besides being loud…inviting them just means trouble from the start because my future Father-In-Law is a little prejudiced. I’m mixed and he loves me which shocked my fiance, but my mother’s family would be too much for him. And all I honestly see is a fight at some point.
My fiance and I have discussed the possibility of having a cookout with my mother’s family after the honeymoon as an informal reception, but I don’t know if that will suffice for my mother.
Post # 3
So…who is ending up on the guest list? It makes me sad for you that one of the reasons you have to go without some of the people you love at your wedding is because you’re afraid your Future Father-In-Law will cause a fight. That’s a really tough situation. Does your mom already know that your Future Father-In-Law is that way? All I can think is that you need be prepared for some understandably strong emotions from her. Good luck.
Post # 4
I don’t think there is a good way. I think all she will here is you are choosing them over your family and that you are ashamed of them. Thats kind of what it sound like to me…a complete stranger.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but it sounds like you’ve made your decision not to include your mother’s family. Just tell it straight to your mother, the way you said it here, because there’s no other way to do it.
But be prepared for the backlash. I don’t think your mother or her family will really feel “loved” by being excluded.
Post # 6
Are you inviting any other aunties, uncles or cousins? You either invite all or none.
Post # 7
No she doesn’t. We’re already expecting my Future Father-In-Law to say something about her as it is to begin with. And the guest list is essentially my fiance’s most immediate family from MD and Lousiana, my immediate and closeby family from MA and New Husband, select friends of the fiance from MD, and my close friends and families who have seen me grow up at church who are also friends of my fiance at this point.
Well we are using my father’s brother’s house as the reception space. So that’s already one side of my family.
The two sides of my family have no seen each other in years and I have had limited contacted with my mother and mother’s side as it is. My mother will be there obviously, just not her family. I can count on one hand the number of time’s I’ve seen my mother or her family in the last 10 years on one hand.
But I also have been forbidden to invite my father’s other brother and his wife because of family issues that sprang up anew a couple years ago. I also can’t have my favorite cousins’ mother (the uncle’s whose house I’m using’s ex-wife) come to the wedding even though she has offered to do my hair (she’s a hairdresser and has been the only one to do my hair for over 10 years now).
It’s great how my wedding is just showing the great big mess my family is. My fiance’s family is a trip too, not just his dad.
Post # 8
I’m sorry I was critical. I though you were super close with your mom’s family. It sucks that you are dealing with all this. Good luck!
Post # 9
It’s fine. I do feel awful cutting them out, but I’m just not attached to them. My mother is, but that’s about it.
Post # 10
Well, if you are that distant from them, hopefully she will understand why they would not be invited. On another note, why can you ‘not’ invite the hairdresser?
Post # 11
Because she’s my uncle’s ex-wife who left him for her current husband. And the reception will be at the house they built together that she moved out of. She and my uncle do not get along either. She has been trying to convince me to change reception spaces because she does not like my uncle. My grandmother, grandfather, father, and uncle all don’t want to see her. My grandmother has said she can do my hair and come to the ceremony, but not the reception. And grandma has the purse strings.