Post # 32
If it is mostly wedding realted then I always like to advise brides to take a step back and really think. Your wedding is the most important things in the world to you and your FI and everyone else has their own important things.
I think it is a shame to end a friendship over something like wedding expectations. The thing about expectations is is that they are yours alone and are often not shared by others.
I am not sure exactly what occurred but I would bet that both of you are at fault and probably need to talk about your friendship rather than your issues with her concerning the wedding.
Post # 33
That is great advice! I had a “fake” friend too who dropped out of my wedding a couple weeks ago…via e-mail no less. LOL in retrospect, I am glad she isn’t coming to my wedding or in my wedding party. 🙂
Post # 34
I completely agree, but honestly I don’t know if I can move past this unless she is willing to put in the work. I’ve been struggling to keep our friendship alive for the last few months and have mentioned that our friendship is going down the drain unless she puts in the effort and she hasn’t really given it a second thought. I’m starting to get very bitter and resent her. We only have 20 people invited to the wedding and so many of my other friends care so much more but cant see me get married. Yesterday I told her exactly how I felt and she hasn’t tried to help fix anything. She doesn’t care. I don’t know if I want her standing up for me and in my photos. It’s a struggle to keep this friendship alive and just a huge burden to me now.
Post # 35
@sheepandbear: How will you feel seeing her in all your pics? Might want to ask her to step down now
Post # 36
In that case I would end the friendship now. Do you want to look at your pictures and feel that disappointment and anger/bitterness? It sounds liek she is giving up. I would just meet with her and say that in light of everything you feel it would be best if she wasn’t apart of the wedding or your life anymore.
The hard things in life are hard and sometimes we just have to step up and deal with it.
Good luck and focus on the friends/family you do have there that are supportive of you.
Post # 37
@sheepandbear: You could just ask her to be friends on facebook.;-)
Post # 39
I don’t think i could fake being friends with someone. I would hate to have so much uneeded tension on my big day to make things more stressful. I would also hate to see her in my wedding photos for the rest of my life knowing how much trouble and drama for you she caused if you were to truly cut ties.
I’d talk to her now, get it over with, move on without her and be happy for the last couple of weeks leading up to the wedding.
Post # 40
@sheepandbear: Why don’t you just cut off contact with her now? You don’t want her there and it sounds like she doesn’t really want to attend anyway. Plus, from her end, it doesn’t seem very fair to make her spend all the money that is usually required from a Bridesmaid or Best Man and then just drop her. You’ll be saving everyone a lot of time and resources if you just kick her out now.
Post # 41
I am no good at being fake friends with someone, and I don’t think I could do it when that person is part of my wedding. I am very anti-confrontational when it comes to friendships and relationships, but I would make an exception for my wedding. I just think it would be horrible to have to deal with your negative feelings towards her in the lead-up to and during your big day. Plus, if you really have so much resentment towards her and she really isn’t making an effort despite knowing your feelings, do you really want to look back at your wedding photos and have her there, reminding you of those feelings?