(Closed) How do I "fake" being friends with somebody?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
9184 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@sheepandbear:  If it is mostly wedding realted then I always like to advise brides to take a step back and really think. Your wedding is the most important things in the world to you and your FI and everyone else has their own important things.

I think it is a shame to end a friendship over something like wedding expectations. The thing about expectations is is that they are yours alone and are often not shared by others.

I am not sure exactly what occurred but I would bet that both of you are at fault and probably need to talk about your friendship rather than your issues with her concerning the wedding.

Post # 33
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@CelticBeachBride:  That is great advice! I had a “fake” friend too who dropped out of my wedding a couple weeks ago…via e-mail no less. LOL in retrospect, I am glad she isn’t coming to my wedding or in my wedding party. 🙂 

Post # 35
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@sheepandbear:  How will you feel seeing her in all your pics? Might want to ask her to step down now

Post # 36
Member
9184 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@sheepandbear:  In that case I would end the friendship now. Do you want to look at your pictures and feel that disappointment and anger/bitterness? It sounds liek she is giving up. I would just meet with her and say that in light of everything you feel it would be best if she wasn’t apart of the wedding or your life anymore.

The hard things in life are hard and sometimes we just have to step up and deal with it.

Good luck and focus on the friends/family you do have there that are supportive of you.

Post # 37
Member
2080 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@sheepandbear:  You could just ask her to be friends on facebook.;-)

Post # 38
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hope it works out.

Post # 39
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t think i could fake being friends with someone. I would hate to have so much uneeded tension on my big day to make things more stressful. I would also hate to see her in my wedding photos for the rest of my life knowing how much trouble and drama for you she caused if you were to truly cut ties.

I’d talk to her now, get it over with, move on without her and be happy for the last couple of weeks leading up to the wedding.

Post # 40
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@sheepandbear:  Why don’t you just cut off contact with her now? You don’t want her there and it sounds like she doesn’t really want to attend anyway. Plus, from her end, it doesn’t seem very fair to make her spend all the money that is usually required from a Bridesmaid or Best Man and then just drop her. You’ll be saving everyone a lot of time and resources if you just kick her out now. 

Post # 41
Member
3371 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am no good at being fake friends with someone, and I don’t think I could do it when that person is part of my wedding. I am very anti-confrontational when it comes to friendships and relationships, but I would make an exception for my wedding. I just think it would be horrible to have to deal with your negative feelings towards her in the lead-up to and during your big day. Plus, if you really have so much resentment towards her and she really isn’t making an effort despite knowing your feelings, do you really want to look back at your wedding photos and have her there, reminding you of those feelings?

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