(Closed) How do I figure out who these gifts are from?! Help!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have the same question. We have a gift on our registry with no name. I want to thank people, but have no clue how to do it.

As everyone gets a thank you card I hope that a generic thanks for your well wishes will be ok for the one unidentified gifter. At least they get something if not a special thanks for their specific gift.

Post # 5
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Ack!  Personally I wouldn’t send an email to everyone… I’d probably have the moms ask around, assuming that your list of those who didn’t give you gifts are mostly their friends.  Good luck!!

Post # 7
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@lolot:  Were the gifts purchased off a registry?  I know when my guests purchased something from my amazong registry it would keep track of names and addresses.

Post # 10
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would send a mass e-mail (not BCC, so everyone can see that it was a mass blast), and say how you had SUCH a great time at the wedding, but that you got two gifts with no names attached, and you wanted to be able to thank the gifters.

Post # 12
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lolot:  This happened to a friend of ours. She just posted a picture of each gift on facebook, saying that someone at their wedding gave them these “amazing gifts” and there were no tags or cards attached – so if anyone knows who gave them, they’d love to say thank-you properly! I didn’t see it as tacky or anything, it was actually kind of cute because then when the givers said “yeah that’s from us!”, they got thanked in public and a bunch of other people told them what a lovely gift it was.

Post # 14
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@lolot:  I would start by having the moms ask around. If you don’t get anywhere I don’t see why the email would be bad honestly. They don’t have to respond if they didn’t give a gift.

We recieved a wonderful tupperware set and 17 months later we still have no idea who it came from. We tried the moms, the aunts, the grandmas and a few mentions to people that didn’t give a gift (tactfully of course) and still nothing. Whoever spent the money on the wonderful set just doesn’t want to be thanked!

Post # 15
1699 posts
Bumble bee

@lolot:  Not TTR, but just as opinionated:

“Just not thanking these two gifters” sits very uncomfortably as an option. Trust me, even people who give donations anonymously to charities, turn to the “thank-you” list in the charity’s brochure or website to see if they can identify which “Anonymous Donor” they are.

Definately send out the BCC email (and yes, definately do it as a BCC — good thinking!) Say something to the effect that “Charming and I want to thank the kind friends who gave us the left-handed Ostrich skewer, and the friends who gave us the Puce art-nouveau epergne. Alas, the givers’ cards were not attached to these two treasured gifts, so: whoever you are, thank-you very much! And please let us know who you are, so that we can think of you fondly every time we cook an Ostrich on the skewer and serve it up on the epergne!”

Post # 16
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think just not thanking them is MUCH better than sending an email. 

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