Post # 1
In the past year, I’ve really made a lot of changes for myself. Since our wedding (1 year ago) I’ve lost 15 pounds. I’ve been really determined and focused and I’m proud of myself. However, Darling Husband hasn’t made it easy for me. He’s been very supportive but he has no interest in making any changes. This is OK with me because I know how much of a personal choice it is.
However, the hardest part has been him not being willing to change a little bit on the diet stance. Even switching to wheat bread. Because of this our grocery bill has skyrocketed. He doesn’t understand that good produce is expensive and eating real food requires a few extra grocery trips because your food is SUPPOSED to go bad.
I want to be clear that Darling Husband is not the controling type but I know it bothers him when I spend more than he’d like at the store. I also feel like a terrible wife because he doesn’t like the dinners I cook. This either causes me to eat like crap or make 2 dinners which is obviously exhausting after a long day.
Any advice on how to get him on board or at least understanding of the grocery bill?
Post # 3
What kind of things are you making? Over the last month I’ve made an effort to cook healthier dinners. Not diet healthy but healthier. I picked up this Cooking Light magazine with 195 recipes of 300 calorie dinners. I have Darling Husband go through it and choose a few that we’ll make that week. The dishes are really delicious.
If he doesn’t cave one bit, then I say just make your meal and let him fend for himself. He can either make what he wants to eat what you make.
Post # 4
Darling Husband eats NO veggies. I love to make chicken stirfry or turkey burgers or breakfast for dinner but he hates all of that stuff. I can’t even get him to eat turkey tacos instead. I literally end up making beef tacos and turkey tacos then save the rest for lunches. He eats like an 8 year old!
He’ll fend for himself, but I really like making dinner for him. I guess I need to let that one go, especially since dinner is NOT the meal you splurge on.
Post # 5
@Mars62312: Is there any way to get him to go grocery shopping with you? So he can see the prices for himself and can see how much more work you’re putting into eating healthy?
I very much think you should stand your ground and try to reason with him (a grown man!) about eating healthy. Or at least making healthier choices. Your other option is to do as my mother does and say, “If you don’t want what I cooked, here’s the refrigerator and the kitchen. Have at it.” Likely, he’ll just start eating what you put on the table after a few pouty dinners of PB&J.
One of the cookbooks I have (Betty Crocker, I think) has a whole “Low Cal” section that has really tasty, really normal options. Perhaps checking out something like that would help, too. As PP said, ask HIM to choose a recipe from that section and see how it goes.
Best of luck!
Post # 6
Well, the upside is that you get to have leftovers for lunch? Maybe you can plan that way (I know making two different dinners really sucks). FI and I have different eating habits. Most of the time we eat the same thing for dinner, but there are times when I do make two different (but related) entrees. Then, each of us have leftovers the next day for lunch — which is one less lunch meal to plan/buy at the grocery store.
There has also been times that I’ve cooked a healthier version of something and didn’t tell my Fiance until after he ate it and said it tasted fine. Maybe you can try that? (Obviously, that won’t work with like, veggies, but it could work with other things — ground turkey vs. lean beef; turkey sausage vs. real sausage..)
Post # 7
I’gnh having the same problem w my Fiance. In January I made the choice to completely change my diet and eat organic fruits, veggies and pretty much eat clean. I’ve lost 27 lbs since then..yay…downside my Fiance says I spend too much on groceries lol.
While he does eat hat I cook, he doesnt like my healthy food and wants his snack stuff so it’s like grocery bills. So annoying! You’re not alone!
Post # 8
@ArtDecoDC: That’s a good idea. I’ll try to make our next trip a “See what I need” trip.
@MsAmandaAnn: Thanks for the reassurance. I’ve tried making new recipes and he’s just kind of “meh” about them. He doesn’t seem enthused when I suggest them again.
He’s the biggest creature of habit I’ve ever met. Dinner is a 7:30 and he’d be happy with the same meal schedule each week.
@Snugglebee: That’s me 100%! Yes, we could buy cheap bread but Ezekial bread is clean! Yes, we could buy food out of a box, but I can’t pronounce the ingredients. Thank goodness eggs are cheap!
Post # 9
I brought up all this clean stuff to Fiance and he’s on board with it – I am trying to justify some of these prices to myself but we cook lots of chicken, have salads with all fresh ingredients for dinners, hummus, brown rice,e tc. There is a way to eat clean without going broke! Our big splurge is protein powder but $60 lasts us about 2-3 months worth. I like having a shake before or after workouts and Fiance will have one a few times a week.
I like the idea of “see what I need” trip, but have you considered just putting it out there you’d like him on board because you’d like to have him around as long as possible?
Post # 10
I would NOT cook him a seperate dinner. If he wants to cook himself one, fine, but I don’t see why you should have to go out of your way to cook 2 dinners just because you’re trying to be healthier. Everyone who makes the switch to healthier food has to take time to get used to it– he will too. Normally I would say you should compromise, but this is about your health, which is important (also, he is coming off as spoiled to me). And if you are the one doing all the cooking AND not controlling what he eats for breakfast and lunch, that seems like compromise enough to me.
Side note: I have a coworker who eats like garbage. She was diagnosed with diabetes and she also has constipation problems… that’s ALL she talks about. Yet she continues to eat white bread and ramen noodles for lunch every day and says she doesn’t like health food. Well, then stop complaining! I don’t want to hear about your pooping problems anymore! I told her there is an adjustment period when you’re trying to eat healthier and you just have to get through that but she would rather not make any changes and continue to complain. We work in nursing too, she she knows damn well what the complications are! Drives me crazy.
Post # 11
Uhh, that is a tough situation. I would try to explain to him all the consequences of eating unhealthy and I would definitely not cook him his personal dinner. Also, if you go grocery shopping alone, don’t buy any of the stuff he eats, buy only the healthy options you stick to. That way you are less likely to have unhealthy foods at your home.
Post # 12
@Mars62312: Maybe getting Darling Husband to watch a couple of those food documentaries would be good, maybe the visual stimulation, while delivering the facts would reel him in. I got Fiance to watch a few, and he’s so anti-processed food now, its crazy (although he never ate THAT bad to begin with) I know watching the documentaries really also helped me keep a look out on what to avoid.
I also would come from the perspective of “I want you here as long as possible, this is why I feel these changes are needed”
Maybe read up on something like the Paleo diet (which in reality isn’t really a diet – more of a lifestyle change) there are a ton of paleo recipes that are “treat” like that could keep him motivated, because your not cutting out everything 100%, you know? But he would still be eating something that is somewhat good for him, in the terms of, its not processed.
The documentaries I recommend are Food Matters & Hungry for Change, They’re both on (canadian) netflix.
Post # 13
@mrs_pudding_pop: Haha, of course! He’s very active and I do worry about the diet aspect, but it’s his choice to make. I just hope that my leading by example will eventually rub off.
He typically does the grocery shopping because he likes to get it done quickly. He’ll get the basic proteins, bananas, and other things for me. Then I’ll go again to Trader Joe’s to get some of the things that the other stores don’t carry.
I know he’s coming across as spoiled, but it really is more me wanting to cook for him. He’s expressed that doesn’t mind making his own dinners, but I know he likes for me to do it (Acts of Service is his Love Language). Plus, it’s just easier. I guess I need to back off on that. I’ll plan my meals and see where he wants to fit in.
Post # 14
@Stephville: I’ll look into those movies!
I like the idea of a few meals. I’ll continue looking for those. There’s no way either of us could do Paleo full out, though. Like I said, he doesn’t do veggies, which I understand is ridiculous!
Post # 15
First of all, stand your ground and do this for YOU. Second, I wouldn’t cook him a meal. I was very blessed that Darling Husband was onboard when I started calorie counting and eating healthier, but if he didn’t like what I was making or wanted a big juicy steak he would make it himself.
Post # 16
@Mars62312: Its so bad he doesn’t do veggies! (I know you know this, but I just had to say it haha) But maybe you could try hiding them in other things. Like in pasta sauce.. Theres a million things you could hide in there.. Or maybe doing some kind of grilled kebab alternating chicken (or whatever) with a chunk of eggplant! When I make burgers, I sautee mushrooms, bell peppers, onions and garlic and it tastes so good! theres no need for cheese or bacon!
I’m really impressed with how laid-back your being about his non-veggie ways, my brother is the same way as your Darling Husband, the only veggies he’ll do are the ones that come in a caesar salad! Or the mushrooms/onions that are on a pizza haha it just makes me mental! =) I’ve gotten into many-a-heated agurments with im about veggies and why he NEEDS to eat them! lol
ETA: Also, if your in a recipe rut with him check out skinnytaste.com there are SO MANY “lightened up” versions of recipes on there (i.e. Cajun Chicken Pasta! …So. Effing. Good.!)