(Closed) How do I get my bridesmaids to Pick out a DRESS?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I sort of feel like my bridesmaids are doing the same thing. “Wear blue” is all I told them. Around knee length/cocktail length. Be comfortable. Get something you’d be likely to wear again. If you wouldn’t wear it in front of your grandma, you can’t wear it to my wedding. Every now and then I stumble on a nice dress online and I email them all (there are friggin SEVEN of them). Maybe one will email me back. And only because I complained to her that no one ever responds to my emails. Apparently they all respond about my email to each other, but not actually to me. Nice. It’s really frustrating. We have time, I know. I guess I just want to feel like they’re excited too!

For you with two girls, wow, that really shouldn’t be so much of a headache for you! Could you arrange a babysitter for your friend in town and kidnap her for an afternoon? Maybe if one has a dress or has at least started shopping, the other will feel some pressure?

Post # 4
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I gave mine a designer and a color.  I also emailed them a few dresses that I liked and some guidelines (floor-length, satin).  My Out of Town maid went to a local store independently and told me her top two picks. The other BMs are in town so the three of us went and they agreed on the same dress.  It was pretty easy since they all have similar taste.

Post # 5
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I ran into a similar problem – I have 4 girls, 3 of which live far away from me and the 1 who lives close to me is currently 9 months preggers.

I thought I was doing them a favor by telling THEM to figure it out, and they thought they were doing me a favor by telling ME to figure it out. After I spoke to each of them about it, I figured out that they really wanted me to pick it b/c they knew they’d never all agree on one dress (I realize you may not mind if the dresses match or not; I did).

Once I realized they were just trying to be helpful and not step on my toes, I just picked the dress I liked most and told them to order it. We’re all much happier now!

Post # 6
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Don’t you just love BMs? Half could care less. Imagine dealing with a large bridal party!

Pick out a couple of designers that are in your price range. Did your bridal salon give you a discount on any in particular? And then have your girls choose from there… giving them a deadline. B/c yes, you HAVE to order Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses no later than 4 months in advance if you don’t want to risk someone not getting one in.

Post # 7
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

my bridesmaids didn’t care either.  So I just picked it out for them.  I picked a dress that would look decent on everyone.  Basic A-line and strapless with a nice sash that wrapped around the waist.  Simple and classic.  Pick something like that and I’m sure they’d be fine with it.  I tried really hard to get my bm to pick the dresses, but they just didn’t care and actually told me to pick it out for them.  So that’s what I did.  Maybe that’s what your bm’s want you to do too?

Post # 8
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We’re going through this too 🙂 Me wanting them to have more free reign, them just wanting to make me happy. I sent them an email yesterday with 2 options: 1) I choose a designer and fabric and they order them within the month, or 2) each one finds a seamstress and my Maid/Matron of Honor will buy fabric and mail them each enough to have a dress made, their choice of style.

I think we’re going to go with the 2nd option. I’ll probably send a few ‘inspiration’ ideas too, haha.

Post # 9
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

Definitely having some frustration over the bridesmaid dresses here, too.  Like everyone else, I just wanted them to find something they liked.  I gave a lot of  choice and options, but then it just became me looking for a dress (also, they’re both in a different city).  I only have two girls – one is pretty good about responding to emails, the other not so much…  The not-responding-to-emails thing REALLY annoys me.  It just feels so rude.

I also feel like I’ve been getting closer to playing the “I’m the bride, please co-operate or else” card that I’ve been trying to avoid.

I think maybe brides just have to realize no one really cares about this stuff like we do.  Or they just don’t want to be at fault if their choice leads to what we later consider a blemish on our wedding day.  Or they don’t realize that bridesmaid attire is one of a million wedding decisions that we have to make whether we want to or not.  They probably don’t know that they’re making life difficult for you and being a little hurtful (little consolation, I know).

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