(Closed) How do I get out of this party?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
46420 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just say you are sorry, but you are unable to make it.

If she asks you specifically ( which would not be good etiquette. LOL) just be honest and say that you would be uncomfortable at a traditional bachelorette. She probably knows this already. Maybe she just invited you to be courteous.

Post # 4
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honesty is your best bet really. If you believe in the reasoning why you will not attend, then there is no shame in being straight up. If they are meeting up at a restuarant or house first, maybe you can go before it gets too immortal, drop off the gift and respectfully dip out.

Post # 6
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@starrynight:  oh, don’t know if that was in the original post, if so…I overlooked that. I am put into these situations every year by my best friend and her boyfriend. I do not drink or attend parties for relgious reasons as well and she has been the closest person to me…and EVERY year I still get invited to their birthdays and every year I have to be like “sorry if there is alcohol and partying I can’t come.” I don’t feel like anyone needs further explanations or apologies. You can mail her gift and well wishes?

Post # 7
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

I think that @julies1949 has a great suggestion there. You don’t need to volunteer why you are unable to attend, but there is a polite way to answer her question if she presses on the matter. If she presses any further about why you wouldn’t feel comfortable at a traditional party of this nature, then explain that you have deeply held beliefs on the subject, and you don’t want to rain on anyone else’s parade with your own likely discomfort. Wish her and her friends a good time and that should end the conversation.

Post # 8
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

I don’t get it…. Maybe I am missing something? Just RSVP “no”

Post # 9
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just RSVP no. She shouldn’t ask you why you aren’t coming. If she does, just say you’d feel uncomfortable but i wouldn’t go into details why.

Post # 11
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I agree with the PP’s, just say you would be uncomfortable and maybe even throw in a self-deprecating joke about what a prude you are. 🙂 Just to make it clear that you aren’t judging her or her choices. She shouldn’t take offense to that.

Post # 12
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@starrynight:  There’s definitely ways to convey that you’d be uncomfortable around these situations without being a jerk about it.  Saying you don’t want to be around ‘immoral’ activities is pretty off-putting, even if its the truth.  Just be kind and thank her for the invitation and say that you’re sorry, but you just don’t care to participate in bachelorette party activities.  If she pushes further, no need to keep explaining, just end the conversation.

Post # 13
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Doesn’t she know you well enough to expect what your opinions may be on traditional bachelorette party activities? I would just decline, and if she asks why, just tell her that you’d be uncomfortable. I’m guessing she’s expecting you to decline, she may have just invited you to be nice.

Post # 14
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I agree with everyone else. Just RSVP no and if she does call and ask why just let her know you’d be uncomfortable. She shouldn’t take offense- but if she does you can’t help that. She should respect your beliefs.

Post # 15
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@les105:  “ I’m guessing she’s expecting you to decline, she may have just invited you to be nice.”

This.  Just decline, she is likely expecting it.  

Post # 16
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If she’s a good friend, then she already knows how you feel about bachelorette parties.

Just decline the invite with no reason.

IF she calls to ask why – tell her that bachelorette parties make you uncomfortable (without going into the details you provided in the post) and if you are so inclined, tell her you want to have a special bachelorette night with just the two of you – and then take her out to dinner or to a movie or something fun that you think she’d enjoy.

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