Post # 1
So my wedding was Saturday the 27th, I’m officially married! So far married life has been nothing but anxiety and sadness :(. I’m an east coast bride, and we got hit with a nor’easter the day of my wedding. I chose a venue 2 hours away from both of our parents because the view was absolutely breathtaking and we were planning to have our cocktail hour on a driving range so it would literally be one big party. Unfortunately, the weather ruined these plans. It was freezing, windy, and rained on and off the whole day so the entire wedding (ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception) had to be held in the barn where we originally planned to have ONLY the reception. I heard the day after that many guests were served cold food, no butter with their bread, and when asked for butter were snapped at by the servers. We were supposed to have 2 videographers (one for an edited video and one for raw footage) and only 1 showed up. To top it all off, during toasts my half brother passed out and set everything back by 20 minutes and ruined my Maid/Matron of Honor toast (i sound insensitive but he does a lot of crazy drugs and definitely showed up high so that was why he passed out). I was probably the most carefree bride ever, and all I cared about was people being able to enjoy the view and just PARTY and make use of the driving range and lawn games we provided. People keep telling me it was beautiful, but I can’t help but feel like it was a complete disaster and I’m heartbroken. I struggle with anxiety and depression and never wanted a wedding because I know that I have the worst luck and that everything would go wrong and I feel like all my worst fears came true. How do I just let it go?
Post # 2
You let it go by changing your focus. Some good things happened that day, right? How were the flowers, how was your dress? Which guests made you smile? You married the love of your life that day. When I start getting down I get tough with myself. Remember that scene from Moonstruck when Cher slaps Nicholas Cage and says, “Snap out of it?” That is what I do to myself inside myself. I essentially make myself stop the self-pity and be thankful and grateful for all the good things. Works for me.
Post # 3
Aw I’m sorry bee! I had some things go wrong at my wedding as well, I got into a bit of a funk for a couple weeks after and those things that went wrong were literally all I could think about. It was driving me a bit crazy and I had constant anxiety so I feel your pain. After a couple weeks of giving into that anxiety and continuing to disect every single thing that didn’t go as I planned, I basically just had to tell myself to get the fuck over it and start focusing on all of the positives. So, that’s what I did. I know it’s easier said than done, but that’s my only advice: focus on the fact that you got to marry the love of your life with your family and friends there supporting you.
Post # 4
Did you get married to the love of your life amid family and friends?
Then make like Elsa.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana
It’s really fresh right now, Time will help. Try to focus on the good parts. Your guests aren’t likely holding you responsible for the bad weather or the snippy servers. I’m really sorry it wasn’t as you invisioned!
Post # 6
Dearest Bee, I can relate to what you experienced. We booked an amazing venue with a view of the NYC skyline (which came at an extra $$$), all because I wanted a wedding with a view. On our wedding day, we got hit by a thurderstorm. It was just pouring, and pouring and there were flooding warnings. Our venue was steps away from the Hudson, so I was scared the entire thing would get shut down. We had originally planned our ceremony to take place outside, so that we would have that world-famous view in our pictures. However, due to the rain, all the buildings were not visible and we had to hold our ceremony inside at the last minute.
Yes- I was beyond upset. However, just as I was getting my hair/makeup done, I realized I just couldn’t do anything about it. No one has control over the forces of nature. All I had control over was my attitude. I really wanted to enjoy my wedding day, rain or shine. Hence, I just stopped caring about the storm and redirected my thoughts to the fact that I was surrounded my friends and my family in that very special day I’d finally get to marry the love of my life. Yes- there were some moments that could have tipped me over the edge, like when my wedding dress (made 100% of silk) got soaked and wrinkled and my hair-do (in spite of all the bobby pins and hair spray) didn’t hold agains the rain/wind. However, I still had an amazing time because our family and friends were there, cheering and celebrating us and that’s all that really mattered. Also, I was pleasantly surprised by how great the pictures turned out. Best of luck, Bee!
Post # 7
I feel so bad for you, it really sucks that this happened. Your wedding day is so special and having it be compromised is insanely frustrating. I know it probably wont help too much, but when I was upset about an issue on my wedding day my mom reminded me of my grandma’s favorite saying – “Well that got all my bad luck out of the way!” Mema believed that if something bad happened on an important day it was the universe purging all of the bad luck out of the way, and the rest of the event would be awesome.
So, according to my very wise old Mema, your relationship will be smooth because your wedding was not. You got all your bad luck out of the way. Not to mention that rain was once a sign of good luck! You’ve got a husband that loves you and a bright future.
Post # 8
i completely relate, bee. i got married on the 5th and posted my story a little while back as well because i was so emotionally crushed. but now that a few weeks have passed, i have been feeling much better. i also posted about the video making me feel better as well. i was DEVASTATED. cried a lot! sure, there are still a few things that piss me off, but not enough to ruin my day like before. its still fresh, but witht ime it will fade. sending you hugs bee. hang in there
Post # 9
Watch the movie, About Time.
1) It’s a really great movie that’s streaming on a lot of platforms right now.
2) Their wedding gets RAINED TF OUT, but they filmed it so beautifully, and everyone’s running around, laughing, exhilarated by the weather, etc. The rain doesn’t dampen the day, it enhances it – it makes it truly memorable. And everyone continues to have a good (if abnormal) time, and – at the end of the day – the couple is married and can embark on their life together.
You just have to keep the focus on the important things, and the weather, the decor, the serving staff, etc – none of that can take away the IMPORTANT things.
Your expectations were just that – imaginary picture of how things might be. Now the things have actually happened and you have REAL pictures and memories of a beautiful day. Discard the imaginary pictures you lived with for so long and try harder to appreciate your reality.
ETA: I know it doesn’t compare to what happend on your wedding day, but our first dance song just turned off about 20 seconds into the song. I could remember that with regret and pain, but I don’t. It was awkward, then funny, and the look on the DJ’s face was priceless – he was horrified – , and I LOVE the video a friend captured of the little jig my husband did with me in the silence since all eyes were still on us. Our reactions to bad things are what decide what kind of life we’ll have.
Post # 10
Believe it or not, this is going to make a lovely story one day. Whose wedding had the perfect weather? Mine. Who remembers it? NO ONE!
Who will remembers yours? EVERYBODY!
Post # 11
They’ll get over the butter. You married the love of your life, congrats!
Post # 12
- Wedding: December 2018 - City, State
Well you got married and your day will be remembered!!! No one will ever blame or shame you for it. Chalk it up as an experience for everyone and enjoy your marriage:)
Post # 13
UPDATE: Thank you everyone! Your words have all been so helpful. My biggest fear is that our photos will look awful since they are all in one spot because the woman from our venue did not offer us a golf cart as was promised to drive around the property and take photos. (This is the same woman who when my photographer asked for drinks for myself & my bridesmaids said “If you want something go get it yourself”) The venue offered for us to come back when its nicer out and take more photos, so we’re currently trying to get some of the $30,000+ we spent there back so we can do that. It might sound crazy but at the very least having nice pictures will make me feel better. My mother has also somehow since managed to make this about her, and is mad at me because I never told her she looked beautiful in her dress. If nothing else, this has shown me how great the family I married into is and made me feel better about my decision to cut ties with my own family.
Post # 14
duchessgummybunns : I LOVE the video a friend captured of the little jig my husband did with me in the silence since all eyes were still on us
Did he go full ashlee simpson???