(Closed) How do I get over my *strong* dislike for this house…

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

First of all make sure all of the old family belonging and pictures are gone, if they are still there.

Second, hire someone to do your remodeling projects. Darling Husband is in the trade as well and I know how projects can go unfinished. Maybe he even has some friends who could do it for less and no markup on materials.

I also like your family’s idea about an interior designer. My friend just hired one and her house looks amazing. They can see things you cannot. Most also offer a free consultation so you can see if you like their work. Get some home magazines and rip out pictures of things you like so they can try to understand your style.

You basically need to start with this house as a blank slate and once you remodel, paint, furnish, and decorate it’ll be a whole new house.

Stop looking at houses online or comparing yourself to your friends! You still have a lifetime to be able to build your dream home.

Post # 4
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

What year was the house built?  How many interior changes can you make?  Can you pinpoint exactly what it is about the house that you don’t like?

 

My fiance bought a split level 1970s house where we now live.  It’s meh.  I don’t love it but i don’t hate it.  He wants to build something on some family land eventually, and I am meh about that as well.  I suspect the reason for this is that I don’t really like the area.  It’s super conservative, anti-teacher, anti-progressive…there are no good restaurants…nothing to do, really…  It’s pretty, I guess, if you take away the factories.  But I think that affects my ability to love the house or wherever we will live.  

Post # 5
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Anyways, I would hire an architect. I think they come up with very good plans that use the existing house’s structure (some walls can’t come down, some can). You can tell the architect what you like, don’t want, etc.

Personally, older homes have a lot more charm to me than a brand new home. But I like older homes with new bathrooms and kitchens! lol

Post # 6
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Your first house doesn’t have to be your dream house. If so had ky way we woupd live in a 4 bedroom with a huge kitchen open to the livig took, a formal dining room, a craft specific room and at least 3 acres. But we live in a two bedroom apartment with a 5*5 balcony and galley kitchen. But I think you have to realize, this house is just for now, not forever. And stop looking at things you can’t have now. It won’t help anything to compare to your friends because you aren’t them. Hire someone to finish the work, fix the things you want, paint, get different furniture, and if you can, go ahead and hire that decorator. Add things thay are yours and your DH’s, not his parents or his family’s and that will help a lot. It is amazing what new curtians, a new rug or carpet, paint and some different stuff on the walls can do.

Please ignore my typos it is hard to fix on my phone!

Post # 7
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I really don’t have a lot of advice to give.  I just remember a few months back when ya’ll were discussing this…  I guess my only advice is this:  Home is not a house.  Home is where you make it. 

As someone who has lived all over, I’ve never felt more at home than wherever my husband is now.  We are currently in the process of buying a house.  Is it our dream house?  No.  Will I be happy there?  Yes, because I’ll do what I can to make it ours, and the rest is just a decision I’ve made.

I understand that your situation is a complicated one, but sometimes we have to take charge of our happiness and make the best out of what we have.  My thoughts are with you, and I’m praying that everything turns out for the best!

Post # 8
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Clean it up and pack it up.  Then at the very least paint all of the walls and redecorate (new window treatments and furniture.)  That way at least a big chunk is done while you’re waiting for him to get back around to renovations.  Watch Sell This House with Tanya Memme; lots of great, cheap, and easy ideas to spruce up a house.

It sounds to me like he’s attached to the house and once you redecorate and make it more your house than his parents’ house, it should feel better.

Post # 9
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Hi. I am your twin. I live in my husband’s house…which was his childhood house…which I would NEVER have chosen for myself, and now am tasked with finding ways to make it livable…it would be one thing if it was as simple a paint job and maybe update some hardware…but it is not. There are cracks in walls, there is MOLD in walls, the door and framed need replacing. The kitchen and bathroom probably just need to be gutted. We discussed planning to fix it up as much as possible and try to sell in five years, but I feel like we’ll never get our money back. It’s not in a desirable school district and the updates aren’t going to make it more valuable, outside of making it habitable. My hubby is NOT the handy type. He’s a computer geek and he spends all his free time doing computer stuff. He can fix anybody’s computer issues, but he can’t put up drywall or refinish walls. We have FAKE WOOD PANELLING in the living room. I would have torn it down by now if I didn’t also have to, then, refinish the walls behind it.

Okay…I know I’m not helping the issue, but I do feel kinship with you. I know how hard it is.

Post # 10
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I forgot to even mention the basement…which has 30 years of a family’s collected crap. When his mom moved out and sold it to him, I swear she pretended she would give him a deal so she wouldn’t have to do all the work to make it marketable. I resent her for that.

Post # 12
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

OP, hire an interior designer (not a decorator–they decorate; you need someone who can redesign the layout itself) and get pros to do the work.

Post # 14
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CherryWaves:  Haha I wondered! I used to get those two mixed up all the time. I used to want to be an interior decorator, and always called it interior designer. I finally learned that that’s two different things! lol

Post # 15
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Is there any way you can get him to sell it eventually?  When you are don renoing, maybe you will build up some equity and then you could buy your own home they way you want it? 

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