(Closed) How do I get over not being invited?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

as someone planning a wedding, you know how hard the guest list can be.

maybe they have bigger families or their parents used up a lot more of the invites? don’t take it too personally – you never really know what’s going on in someone else’s life.

Post # 4
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@littlenikki:

Ouch.  Were their weddings really small?  If not than maybe you need to think whether they are really that good friends of yours.

It does suck not to be invited.  I was the only one from my circle of friends to not be invited to one wedding.  You think I’m inviting them?  hells no.  Its not like their wedding was small either.

Post # 6
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

They might have a more family-oriented view on weddings? For me, I’m just inviting one friend other than the bridal party, and we’re inviting around 100 people. It’s really great of you to not fall into retaliation novites (love the word, by the way!)!

Post # 8
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@littlenikki:

Sorry, but you seem to be in one-way relationships with these people meaning you care about them way more than they you, give me a break 250 people and no room for you!?  I couldn’t find 250 people if I wanted to 😛

I’m inviting people on terms of how much they mean to me, and I’ve B listed most of my relatives, I haven’t seen them in years.  I would so rather be with my friends then them, but I donno how well that will go over, but geez just becasue you’re related dosn’t mean they are more important in your life.

Post # 9
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I agree about family. There quite a few people I am not inviting that I have been close to in the past (and even a few that I consider friends now) that I cant invite due to family and our invite list is large at 180 people.  We are only inviting (not including bridal party) about 10 friends. The rest are family or parents family friends etc.

It does sting, but try to remember that you may have been on the radar, but unfortunately you got cut. 

If it bothers you enough and you consider them close enough friends that you are inviting them to your wedding I may consider saying something.  Dont be confrontational about it but ask them something along the lines of “I know you had a lot of family at your wedding and its really stressful, but I was wondering why I wasnt invited. I want to invite you to our wedding, but I am afraid that maybe I am overestimating our friendship?”  Just beware because you can get alllll sorts of answers and you may not like some of them

Post # 10
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I remember when a friend of mine in law school was getting married.  We were in the same study group and another friend of mine and myself listened to her talk about her wedding 5 days a week for 6 months.  I mean, we knew Every Detail of her wedding by the time it rolled around.  We were a little put off about the fact that we weren’t invited.  I’m inviting her to ours.  🙂

My only advice is not to talk incessantly about the wedding in front of those you’re not inviting.  Don’t bring it up unless they do.  If they do, make sure you mention how small the guest list is and how torn up you are about the fact that you can’t invite everyone you’d like to.

Post # 12
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@littlenikki:  It it was years ago I would say that your friendship has grown since then. At the time you were more of a nice friend, not a close friend likely.  I bet it would be different now if they were getting married. I was under the assumption they were recent weddings. 

Post # 13
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

FH and I kind of going through this; more so him than me. There was a couple he thought he was “friends” with whey they got married about five years ago and didn’t invite us. At that time I may have met the couple once, so I didn’t care that we weren’t invited. FH on the otherhand is *still* bugged by this and goes back and forth on inviting them to our wedding.

Post # 15
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@littlenikki:  I think you are overthinking this.  You can’t know what’s in other people’s heads.  It sucks to not be invited to the wedding of someone you care about, but you can’t change that, and what you do have control over- your guest list- you are inviting the people you care about.  So you’re doing a good job.  Basically I think you need to give yourself permission to not stress out about how people are going to recieve your wedding invitation.

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