(Closed) How do I get over this? Any advice?

posted 7 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow, this makes me so angry. I’d tell her, “I’m not going to lie. This is awkward. I love you and will be praying for your heart to open, but I cannot accept your bigotry.”

And then I’d just try to see her for what she is — a misguided soul who probably means well but is wasting her energy judging people (wrongly). Honestly, I would pity her. She’s choosing prejudice, she’s choosing to cut you out of her life. She has a lot of issues to deal with, not you. 

Post # 4
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have no advice but wanted to give you ((hugs))

Post # 5
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am so sorry you’re going through this.  It must be unbelievably hard for you to be unfairly judged by the family of the person you love.  It’s unfortunate that people can be so closed-minded and not accept love when it’s right in front of them.  I hope they don’t come to your wedding, but if they RSVP yes, then hopefully you’ll see it as a sign that they are being somewhat supportive even though their religious beliefs lead them to not approve of homosexuality.

And I don’t know if this helps, but I think it’s pretty bizarre when people who call themselves Christian are so judgemental–Jesus preached love and acceptance!

Post # 6
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Pomapoo: agreed. I HATE that homophobia is so associated with Christianity. 

Post # 7
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@stillme: right on

this makes me sick – they claim to be “christian” but these “christians” are the worst about judging people (not all christians! dont wanna piss people off) but i know this breed – how can you be so judgemental and unaccepting yet call yourself christian. Makes me sick.

OP – its got to be so tough dealing with a family who is unaccepting. please know not everyone will be this way when looking at your relationship – i have huge hope for our younger generations in accepting gay marriage/relationship. Everyone deserves to be happy and everyone deserves to marry.

Post # 8
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@totheislnds: YES YES YES!! you are totally right! I have friends that are christian and go to church… but they are NOTHING like this. 

I think (most of them) are very judgmental people. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I don’t think it’s right at all. 

I am so angry reading this post right now. The things I would say to her  don’t feel I want to write here. Christian or not… I think people like that are awful, and God probably does too

Post # 10
Member
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

@stillme: I think this is a fabulous response.

Really, though, it’s up to your Fiance to handle this. Honestly, if that’s how they treat you I would think it would be best to just cut off contact with them. While I’m not in the same situation I am in a relationship that my family told me they just could not accept because my Fiance and I have an age gap of 10 years. The comments, the guilt trips, the horribly akward situations didn’t stop until I told them that they could choose to respect my choices and decisions or they had no business trying to be part of my life. They eventually came around, though I wasn’t expecting them to. If the sister and her husband do come around and realize that they’re making a huge mistake, great. If not you will have freed your relationship from their ridiculous negativity.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. /hugs

Post # 11
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m so sorry, Bell. I’ve been through something similar, but not to this degree, and that royally sucked. This really has nothing to do with you, but with that chick. I have to agree with stillme. That is a pretty dead on response.

Also, I have to agree with Aure about something….what did your Fiance say when her sister started in at you with that garbage?  

Post # 12
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

euw i think the most disturbing part is being fake and telling you she loves you.  don’t sugar coat your hatred, lady. 

Post # 13
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@stillme: win!!!!!! 

I don’t know how people deal with other people like this. My goodness I would be in jail! I would have punched her in the mouth and have been like “accept this biatch!” 
Well, you can’t change stupid. 

Post # 15
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m really sorry to hear this, and I can’t even imagine how terrible it must feel.  I wouldn’t count on ever changing your FI’s family’s mind about your relationship.  There’s a good chance they’ll never accept you.

I think you have the right idea and have to look at these people like they are toxic, and keep them at a distance… sort of like adult children from dysfunctional families do with their parents and siblings.  Learning how to interact with them while protecting yourself and not allowing yourself to get too close or caught up in their damaging attitude/opinions is a learning process.  Reach out to the resources that you do have for help doing this.

Post # 16
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

While I guess it’s “good” (and I use that word lightly) that she was honest to your face instead of gossiping behind your back, it’s still a SHITTY thing to say or think about someone.

I just don’t get it. Never have, never will. And I’m sorry you’re going through this.

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