(Closed) How do I get rid of my Maid of Honor?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think the best way to do this is to just put all on the table. Let her know all of the things you just told us. Let her know you two have grown apart as friends and are on different pages in this book called life. Let her know you still love her, and want her to be at the wedding but you need a MOF that is going to be there for you fully, and be 100% happy for you. Just let her know she isn’t working out.

Post # 4
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would just be straight up honest with her. Tell her you need a little more support and someone that can handle the role and responsibilities. Maybe have a list of the things you expect, to show her that it’s something that she clearly doesn’t want to be doing. 

 I’d stress that you still want her to come to the wedding and maybe ask her if there are any projects that she would like to help on, so that she is still a big part in your wedding.

Good luck. It’s always hard to tell a good friend bad news and you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but if it will ultimately make you happy. Just make sure you do it in person.

Post # 5
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It sounds like she’s going through a hard time and really needs your support. I wouldn’t kick her out of your wedding party. Instead, just add on the other girl and continue to try to include your friend. 

Post # 6
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It does sound like she’s going through a tough time for sure. It just happens that she’s going through a rough patch while you’re planning a wedding. It sucks because you should be getting support from her and she should be getting support from you. It’s just all happening at a terrible time. If you weren’t planning a wedding and she was going through all this, you’d be there for her as a friend and that’s just how it would be. You wouldn’t feel like all she talks about is herself as a bad thing, that’s just how it is when one of your friends is going through something.

I agree with laying it out on the table, but remember to support her through her time as well and TELL her that so she doesn’t feel alienated. I think not making her your Maid/Matron of Honor anymore would devastate her more and you’d feel awful about it. Neither of you need more stress!

I’m sorry that you’re going through this!

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