(Closed) How do I get SO to help out?? (looong vent)

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

he sounds incredibly lazy- i dont know how anyone could put up with that

Post # 4
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This does not sound like a good relationship. That is too much laziness to try and fix in a person.


Post # 5
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ThreeMeers:  This.

I dated a guy who expected me to be his mommy/housewife. I worked 30 hours a week, went to school full time, and had homework, and he wanted me to follow him around and do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., AND give him most of my paycheck for “bills.” I also had to frequently stop at the store on the way home to pick up things that he wanted because he was too lazy to do it himself. Oh, and he wanted me to do all of the yardwork, too. I had to leave him after that, though not just because of all of that.

Post # 6
14486 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@JazzyGirl:   If he paid some bills, I wouldn’t be as pissed

Somehow I doubt that will end up being true, but if you feel that way, maybe you should ask him to help out and see if you feel better about the situation.  From all those little things, I’d be pretty damn fustrated and want to just kick his ass out and not let him stay.  I’d venture to guess that he’d be the same way if you guys moved in together too unless he can show any different at your place now.  He’s practically living there half time, sounds like he needs to learn to pull his weight at your place and at least do the shit he SAYS hes going to do in a timely matter.  Time to lay out some guidelines and work somethign out. 

ETA: How… how about a check list or something.  TELLING him apparently isnt working…how about a nice giant list of all the fustrating things he does like you told us here so he can just SEE how rediculously sloppy he sounds on paper. 

Post # 7
112 posts
Blushing bee

“Things are great in our relationship if I just let him do as he pleases and keep my mouth shut.”


Wow… is that really how you want to live? I’d say no more staying over until he learns how to clean up after himself. That’s just basic manners!

Post # 9
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would find this really annoying too and I dont think him paying the bills would help. My Fiance pays pretty much for everything in life and the fact that he dumps his clothes on the floor still pisses me off. I decided that this one thing would be something that I’d let go but your laundry list sounds a lot longer. Especially since he’s willing to help out other people but not you. I hate to say this but it sounds like you’re being taken for granted. You’ve probably said one too many times that you’re sick of it but haven’t actually done anything about it (I’ve been there too) so he’s not taking you seriously. I would never tell someone to break up with their bf but you have to think about how long the rest of life is. Can you deal with this? And if you want to have children one day, how is he going to be then when you REALLY need his help?

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