Post # 1
Hi fellow bees,
This is my first post (although I’ve been reading for a while). My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting engaged for a couple months now, and he’s the traditional type so he won’t tell me anything about what plans he has. We’ve looked at types and sizes of rings, decided on the approximate size and stone and style (we’re going with a moissanite!) and the style of the wedding bands (he’s half Irish, so we’re getting Claddagh engraved wedding bands). BUT, he keeps such secrecy around it and I know he needs to save a little more money to buy it for me and then who knows how long until he gives it to me… and he’ll just laugh and crack jokes whenever we talk about it!
So here’s the deal. I know that he loves surprises. So the more we talk about it, the more it’s pushing the engagement date back. I’m also stressed out with job applications and all (senior in college…) so thinking about the engagement and the wedding is a great distraction. But how do I keep myself from mentioning it to him or fretting too much on my own about all the wait? LOL I wish I could just fast forward to the day he proposes… I’m a very impatient girl!!!
So, any advice???
Post # 3
Talk about it on here 😛
Or to anyone else, really. I know it’s really, really hard but whenever I want to talk about that sort of thing I try to talk to my best friend or post on the Bee – it’s a nice little outlet without making my OH feel crazy pressured, saying that we do talk about it (both engagement and wedding stuff) but only a little.
When I have a bad waiting day I do something I enjoy, like go running (or if it’s a REALLY bed day sit still and eat alot…)
I hope this helps!
Post # 4
I think you need a distraction from your distraction! My husband was the same way, the more you talk about it, the more he will push it back. Guys are like that sometimes, they want to think they completely suprise you even if they don’t
Post # 5
@squeak: I am the same way. I work and I am in school so anytime I can get on the weddingbee to scour wedding ideas (which causes me to passively mention an impending engagement to SO) probably is not working to my advantage. My advice is to use the waiting board to vent your joys and frusterations, and since you are in school focus on that as well. Maybe take up a new (non-stressful!) hobby? Good luck on waiting and please keep us all updated. We all LOVE a fabulous proposal story (with pics!)
Post # 6
@kat2014: & @Hbomb84: I agree with both of you. the OP should definetly find some hobbies that are just for her, that are fun, and that keep her busy!
I’ve been taking photo’s of everything, and creating hallowe’en and Autumn stuff lately. Those things have kept my mind off of a proposal… Which could be any day now!
Post # 7
@GwenvonD: Ooo if you have any good fall crafty ideas, please share! 🙂
Post # 8
Thank you bees! Yeah job search has been my distraction, although that stresses me out so much that I don’t want to think about it anymore! lol. I just do a lot of personal development work, I’m thinking if we really want to get married then we need to really understand each other and work for it, right?
I love crafts! I want to buy a used treadle sewing machine for cheap and start some sewing and quilting projects… and I’m dying to start crocheting! My BF’s grandmother did these amazing blankets and napkins that we have in our home and I’d love to do some more of that.
What do you all do by way of hobbies? And any good crafts ideas/books?
Post # 9
@squeak: Hehe well besides scouring the wedding bee…
I am attempting crocheting (I can’t focus well enough for it though )
I have been working at the Couch to 5k program! Planning on running a for real 5k when I’m done 🙂
I try to read (but it usually ends up being A&P books, since I am going to school for Rad Tech)
Post # 10
I was doing the whole job searching thing, too. It’s a wonderful distraction because you realize that it’s beneficial to your future together to work, but it fairly stressful.
Whenever I feel the need to talk about marriage or find myself in the “marriage mood” I come on TWB and discuss either the frustrations I am feeling currently concerning waiting, or I respond to other bees’ threads (like this one!) It reminds you that you’re not the only one feeling crazy! Also, I like to watch wedding shows, like Four Weddings, Bridezilla, Say Yes to the Dress, etc. I never really knew too entirely much about weddings (or the price of them) until I started watching these shows. They give you an idea of what you’d like at your wedding, as well.
As for hobbies, I clean, shop around for things I need in the house like candles, new rugs, bed spreads, etc. I’ve been looking through recipes on FoodNetwork.com to add to my collection to try out later on, exercising, playing video games, drawing and painting. Just do things you’ve been wanting to do: pick up that bakery class, go try yoga, learn how to ride a horse. Take this time to spoil yourself!
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for your input! I’ve been getting busy with job searching and looking for a sewing machine and doing my research on materials… Unfortunately this past week has been a very bad one and we just had a couple major fights. So I’m really not sure where this relationship is heading or what’s going on… I’m just so upset, I really thought he was the one, but after all of these fights I realize we only had one period when we were great together, and I just don’t know if we can get back to that and to maintain it… we’re both trying hard at the moment (especially me, since I’ve been the more bitchy one recently), but I really hope things will work out… we might need a miracle here!
biggest problem is really just the lack of affection/intimacy. He doesn’t like to cuddle or hold me in bed at night. Says sleep is sleep. And he makes some inconsiderate jokes, which he said he would cut from his language. I know that I’m being bitchy as well, but he’s always been a relatively distant person, and I really hate that! I’m so warm and cute and I really want someone who can offer me all that love and protection, not demand space all the time :((((
GAH. Rant over. Sorry… hoping this can all change and we can actually make it work.