(Closed) How do I go about this (long)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What do I do about not inviting Al
    Don't say anything, don't send an invitation, let him ask you if he cares : (47 votes)
    96 %
    Take him aside and explain to him why he isn't being invited : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would just not send him an invitation. If he asks where his invitation is, just say that you couldn’t invite him due to space constraints. Only tell him the real reason if he presses you and he should have enough tact not to do that.

    Post # 4
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Ah, that sucks for Sally!  The decision sounds easy to me!  I’d just not invite him and let him ask you.  If he does, be honest. 

    Post # 5
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    don’t invite him. i doubt he will need to ask why.

    Post # 6
    941 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If you have at all frequent contact with him (1-2 times a month-ish) it may be helpful for you down the line to be straightforward and upfront.  That could be done in a manner that doesn’t have to be insulting to him per se…saying Sally would be uncomfortable with your presence, and because she’s been so helpful to me, I want to respect her feelings. 

    If you don’t have much contact with him, I’d say just don’t send an invite and let him seek you out.  And, if he does, give the same response. 

    Post # 7
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I would just not send the invitation.  If he asks fine, then you can explain however you see fit.  But, in my opinion, you don’t owe anyone explanation as to why they aren’t invited. 

    Post # 8
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I agree with the PPs. Don’t need to invite him and don’t need to explain why you didn’t either. He’ll probably know why once he finds out that Sally is planning on attending the wedding.

    Post # 10
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would say not to approach him. I just wouldn’t send him an invite. To me, this is an easy decision, and an honorable one you’re making for your friend. I commend you for that…and I think the easiest way for him to know he isn’t invited is not to get an invitation!

    Post # 11
    234 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I say just don’t invite him, and don’t bring it up.  Maybe also tell your mutual friends to not bring up the wedding in front of him, to prevent any awkwardness there.  Odds are he’ll be smart enough to figure out why he’s not invited, but if he asks, just give a generic answer about space or budget.  Like JamaicaBride said, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

    Post # 12
    3041 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Don’t invite him. You can send him a wedding announcement after you’re married (so you can say that’s why you needed his address).

    The topic ‘How do I go about this (long)’ is closed to new replies.

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