- 7 years ago
I’m an active poster on the bee, but since this is a sensitive issue, I’m posting anonymously.
Basically, my mother is a controlling and manipulative woman. In hindsight, it’s been there all along, but I didn’t figure this out about her I got engaged. Ever since I got engaged (and even before), it’s been one thing after another, especially with my fiance. Just to list some of the things that she’s done to try and sabotage my relationship or the wedding:
- Before we got engaged, called me to say that she had a dream about my fiance and that he was cheating on me with a girl at work (he worked with an all male crew and I visited him at work quite often)
- We once sat down to talk things out and my mother insulted my fiance by saying “Aren’t you a Christian, why aren’t you checking her?” and “Aren’t you TEN years older than her, you should be telling her what to do.”
- I informed her very early on that we wouldn’t be having the ceremony at a church (we’re doing it in a garden). She didn’t care at first because she thought the pastor would “check” me and tell me it was forbidden. When he didn’t, she thought my Future In-Laws would, when they didn’t care, she called my FI’s aunt and informed her that I’m not even a member of my current church and that I’m a member of another church in where I should be holding the ceremony.
- Called my FI’s aunt to fish for information
- My mother sews and insisted on making my reception dress. RUINED!! $150 and a seamstress later, it’s fixed.
- Tries to control and manipulate my Fiance into convincing me to do things she wants
And a host of other things. Her nor my father have made any efforts to build a relationship with my Fiance. Although I’ve spoken to my father about what she does, he remains a united front with his wife and refuses to acknowledge her wrongdoings.
My younger brother went through this with my mother (should’ve learned from that situation) and has basically kept contact with the entire family to a minumum (we’re talking 3x a year) because of her attitude and I’m at the point of doing the same. I’ve talked to her several times about her attitude and she isn’t respondent to changing.
Is there another way to approach this? Is it best I just cut contact?
ETA: Just for reference, I’m in my early 30s and I’m the oldest of 4.