How do I handle seeing family after going no-contact?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
6179 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

I would avoid the football game to be honest. It sound like a disaster waiting to happen. I would talk to my brother and offer to take him out for dinner, have him come over for some food, take him out somewhere etc. But I’d avoid chancing running into any narcissistic crazed parents right now. 

Post # 3
5241 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
kmmq72 :  

Bee, it’s only a football game. I wouldn’t attend. You’re going to make yourself sick over it. I would continue the therapy sessions. You’re at peace with your decision but you’re having horrible anxiety issues, I would continue to go

Post # 4
8271 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with pps. It seems too soon, too fresh. You haven’t seen him play all year, unfortunate to say but it’s not really that big of a deal to miss out on one more. 

Post # 6
475 posts
Helper bee

You could show up to the game a little later than normal and sit as far away as possible, maybe even on the opposing side. (I’m sure your brother would understand if you sat on the opposing side considering the circumstances.) If they speak, be polite but if they try to start something, just walk away. 

Post # 7
561 posts
Busy bee

I was thinking you could sit on the opposing side, also. It’s weird, but worth your sanity. Show up right as the game starts or a little after and leave right before it ends. Don’t go get snacks or go to the bathroom or put yourself in any position to see them. Good luck! Let us know how it turns out. 

Post # 9
2329 posts
Buzzing bee

The correct answer here is: Don’t go to any family “event” at which you are likely to see the CO family.

However, I understand your reasoning for still wanting to go. 

I think it is a big enough event, spread out, and with enough people, that you can go. In your shoes, I would send DH into the stadium area first to try and find your parents/family. Then, we’d find seating as far away as possible from them and I would stay seated the entire time. DH would go for food and drinks. I wouldn’t sit on the other side of the field – that would just give the FOO a greater chance of seeing and watching you. 

If FOO tried to initiate contact at any point, DH and I would stand up and quietly leave. 

Post # 10
846 posts
Busy bee

I would go. I understand the advice that it’s the most concrete way to avoid them and drama but I wouldn’t let them dictate where I do or don’t go. That’s still giving them control imo. Go, avoid them, if you see them act like they don’t exist but otherwise live your life 

Post # 12
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
kmmq72 :  I don’t know or recall the back story here. Are you worried they would make a scene? or you are worried about any eye contact whats so ever? Either of these is still giving them control over your life. 

I would go to the game, cheer on your brother, take a few photos of him playing and meet up with your brother later to catch up. I guess I don’t really see an issue here… how small is the high school? Surely there will still be at least 80+ people at a high school football game. 

You’re overthinkging it and giving them too much power. Go and act as if they are not there, I wouldn’t be eye balling the stands looking for them. You’re there for the game, right. 

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