- 6 months ago
Thank you very much everyone, for your replies and your feedback. Everyone’s view is so unique, and it helps to look at things from different perspectives.
@teaandcake: I completely agree with your very good point in that positive reinforcements can be equally damaging. I always tend to focus on the good, however at times it actually did not work in my favour at all. So I do agree with you. The challenge is knowing that fine line – between positive reinforcements and acceptance of harsh reality…
@Anonymous1063: I like the idea of using some of the comments to start a discussion with my girls, when they are old enough. I agree that it will provide them with a base of how they can react if and when they encounter something similar at school or elsewhere. Bullying is so tough, and its such a sore subject for me. So it’s so important for me to raise my girls to not only love themselves, but to stand up for themselves if and when they have to.
@westtexasrev1: I absolutely love how you handled it!!!!! I wish I had a better sense of humour about it. I spoke to my dad about this today, and he has a very light hearted nature. He said I should turn her comments into jokes. For example, in response to her cropping my family photo to hide my husband’s belly, he suggested I respond with “But I purposely fed him lots of burgers and french fries for a whole month, just so we can have the belly in the photos!”. Or, in response to how my toddler’s legs are crooked, to say “Oh I just love babies with crooked legs, they are the cutest in the world!”. I really like this approach to be honest. But the problem is, when these comments are made, I am fuming inside, and it makes me so angry. So I don’t really say anything, in fear of confrontation or to make things tense…. It’s only after the fact that I think of the best way I should have responded.
@bluejellyfish: Agree. I have to develop a little arsenal of replies I can use in reponse to some of her comments. Like I wrote above, when she makes these comments I’m left a little dumbfounded, not knowing how to respond at that very second. And then of course I regret the fact that I should have put her in her place but didn’t.