(Closed) How do I handle this one?!?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3 posts

I have no advice to add, but wow…. that’s and interesting situation!

Post # 4
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow, that is difficult. Really really difficult. I think your dad should explain to the associate that it’s part of your cultural sensibilities to wear a white dress all day, and that selecting a dress is a huge part of the tradition for Western brides (maybe add your mum to this to). Whilst you are very flattered by his offer, that perhaps if he wants to contribute to the day itself, he could pay for some flowers for the reception, or send a case of champagne? 

Good luck!

People are usually pretty good if they’re told that what they’re doing is very far from cultural norms – perhaps your dad should explain that it would be very hurtful/disrespectful to your mother if you didn’t wear the dress she helped you choose for the whole day? (I don’t know if that’s true, but it sounds plausible!)

Post # 5
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hmmm…. I’d have your dad handle it.  Do you think you can get away with saying it is too hot?  Or that it is an American tradition to wear the same white dress during the reception and ceremony?

Post # 6
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Oh dear, I love seeing these dresses at receptions, but they are normally worn by women who have some sort of cultural tie to the traditional outfit! If one of my caucasian friends wore one of these to her wedding, and she wasn’t marrying into a asian culture, I would be totally weirded out!

I have no advice on how to handle this. Perhaps your dad could explain that in your family the bride tradtionally wears white the whole day? And that his generosity is very much appriciated, but you are all set for wedding garments.

Good luck!

Post # 7
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I actually don’t think you have to go as far as giving an explanation on cultural norms, etc. You already have a dress! Can your dad just politely thank him and say something along the lines of, “thank you so much for your kind offer but prettylizy already has a dress that she plans on wearing throughout the entire wedding.” I don’t think that’s offensive at all. I think he’s being rather pushy being that your dad has already politely declined his offer. Hope this works out!

Post # 8
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

ooh this is a different one. i agree that your dad has to make up some kind of excuse that you have to wear your dress the whole day as it is YOUR tradition and culture to do so.. such a nice gesture but how awkward!

Post # 10
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

JUST SAY NO! That is the only way to go. Habe your father explain that in our culture giving the bride clothes to wear on the day of is unheard of and you really want to wear YOUR dress!!

Post # 11
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t honestly think it’s a big deal. Just say that you have your dress for the wedding AND reception, but thank you!

Post # 12
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Have your dad thank him for his generosity, but have him tell him that after speaking with you, he found out that you already have your entire wedding day attire.

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