(Closed) How do I help my daughter with her decision?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
43 posts
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’m biased because I have gout in my ankles, have been weeks without walking and can’t wear heels/thin soles. I would leave and probably take the BMs with me.

Post # 18
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

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kybride:  I would not want to be friends with someone that shallow either. My guess is that, while this girl might have been a good friend at times- this is probably not the first sign of this side of her personality. I have cut off friends who I could tell you amazingly wonderful stories about… but those moments of awesomeness were in a sea of bitchy pettiness. Your daughter is an adult and I’m sure she realizes the consequences here. If she’s determined this girl’s behavior is not worth it, then cut the bridezilla off. She sounds nuts. 

Post # 19
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your daughter has the right idea. Not sure why you’re so concerned.

Post # 20
2330 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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kybride:  Your daughter is seeing her “friend”‘s true colors and she will know what to do. But if I was your daughter and i brought this up to my mom, she would suggest me I drop out in a heart beat. 

You had me at covering the tattoos. The bride knew your daughter has tattoos, if that was an issue with her “vision” then she should have thought about choosing your daughter in the first place. God some women make me so angry!!!!!!!! And the 4 inch heels? I can’t even wear those on a regular day, let alone carrying twins!!!!!

screw that………. She came to you for advice because she trusts your opinion (my mom is my rock, I would have done the same), if your opinion is to drop as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, let her know. 

Post # 21
125 posts
Blushing bee

My one piecew of advice would be not to take offence for other people. Yes, what she said about her pregnant bridesmaids was pretty low… but your daughter needs to make a decision based only on the relationship between her and the bride.

Has she had a frank discussion with her about her attitude in general? Maybe clearing the air will be enough to pull her head in… or at least if your daughter then decides to still step down she wil know she did what she could to reconcile with bride… and bride will know exactly why she has lost a bridesmaid and possibly a friendship.

PS, you’re a good mum for caring about your daughter so much xxx

Post # 22
949 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
kybride:  I wouldn’t wear 4″ heels unless I loved them and they were comfortable enough, and I’m not even pregnant. I would definitely have words with the bride about all her bonkers requirements, with the hope that she would see sense.

Post # 23
5364 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

I would drop out. 

Ive been in a similar position. I was Maid/Matron of Honor for my friend of 6 years who was like my younger sister. I was going through a stressful time in my life dealing with my dying grandfather. I saw such ugly sides of her and her mother during that time. I didn’t talk to her for 2 months during the planning because her and her mom cussed me out. I thought about dropping out several times but never did because my Fiance was a groomsmen so I still would’ve had to go anyways. I ended up being in the wedsing but the night before and day of I was completely ignored by the bride and her mom. I haven’t talked to her since I walked out of her venue. My life has been so much better since and I’m not super stressed because of her antics anymore.

Post # 24
558 posts
Busy bee

If your daughter’s feelings are that the bride has gone too far for her to feel friendly or respectful towards her, then dropping out sounds ideal. If your daughter is okay with all the other requirements but is worried about her pregnant friends, maybe she and the friends can at least try speaking to the bride about that – power in numbers.

It would probably be the end of the friendship if she drops out but it doesn’t sound like she would be missing much!

Post # 25
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Whoa… Recently another bee opened a thread about renting bridesmaids and to be honest I was really taken aback by the concept, but reading your story, I think your daughter’s friend should probably look into this possibility if she wants picture perfect bridesmaids to stand by her side. Can’t believe how inconsiderate some people are. I would have dropped out a long time ago…

Post # 26
32 posts
  • Wedding: March 2016



Tell your daughter to GET OUT. That is not a good friend at all. She sounds awful.

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