(Closed) How do I hint I hope they dont bring kids

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

We didn’t hint about anything – we just invited adults!  We just wrote on our wedding website and in our invitation "Adult Reception"

Of all of our 225 guests – no one brought children – it worked like a charm!  Plus we had our Moms spread the word if anyone brought it up with them about bringing their kids.

Post # 4
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

hmmmm…i think your gonna have a hard time here…if you spread the word that the recpetion is ‘adult only’ and people show up and see kids, theyre gonna wonder whats up…

are there only 3 kids in question or all but the 5 in the wedding party.  if its all but the kids in the wedding party, tell you mom and bridal party to spread the word that you’d like people to come sans-kids…make it seem that you dont want kids there because of all the partying and drinking, and not b/c you dont want to pay for their dinner.  if there are just 3 kids you dont want to invite, i think you may have an issue…it may be easier to just not invite those 3 couples…

either way, i think you have to have an across the board policy.  either kids are allowed or theyre not (save the wedding party)

Post # 6
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

could you provide babysitting rather than hosting the kids at the reception? either at the reception venue or at the hotel if you have a hotel block…

Post # 8
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Does your venue offer a children’s menu or can you accommodate a "Babysitting" room with someone you trust that has some activities for them to do? My sister had to bring her baby with her to my cousins wedding (she was still just an infant) but she went ahead and had a friend come with her who watched my neice the night of the wedding.

Personally, I think "Adult Reception" listed on the invites is explanation enough. If people question why the other kids are there, just kindly say that they were in the wedding party.

Post # 9
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I think I need more info.  So are you saying that your 5 nieces/nephews who are in the wedding are invited, and also your teenage niece?  And there are only three other children in the whole guest list that are are possibilities in coming?  How old are these other children?  Who’s children are they?  (Friends? Fiance relatives?) Are these families coming in from Out of Town, and would not have access to babysitting?

1. I think it’s OK to only invite children in the wedding party.  Could you incorporate your teenage niece in the wedding too?  I guess I feel that only inviting nieces and nephews can be an exception too.  But, without knowing the relation of the other children, I hesitate to suggest it.

2.  Do the parents of the children in question (or other guests) know that there are only three other children in question?  I’m so tempted to say that with only three kids, you should just invite the three kids and be done.  If there are five little ones already going, what’s three more?  But I suppose you could get away with it if no one else knows how many other kids you are talking about.

3.  If this is a matter of cost for children’s dinners, are you sure there isn’t a lesser charge for children?  A lot of venues have children’s meals.  And if so, the children will be more likely to eat the food. (And it would be less expensive.)

With what you’ve posted, and asked I’ll say this.  Invite the children or don’t.  You also mentioned not wanting the parents to leave early.  That won’t be in your control whether or not you invite their children.  Parents of little ones often tucker out early.  They are so used to getting up early with the kids now.  So they might leave early anyway.  Or they’ll want to resuce the babysitter, or the children will get sick.  Or they miss them. Or they just want to go. 

My opinion is that it’s more kosher to either invite the kids or have an adult reception, and take your chance by saying you are making an exception for immediate family.  (Maybe on your website or by word of mouth for those who might be affected.)  I wouldn’t be offended if my children weren’t invited to a wedding, but the bride’s niece or nephew was.  I don’t think you should invite the kids then try to tell the parents not to bring them.  That sounds like bad form. 

Post # 10
898 posts
Busy bee

My cousins just wrote "Adults Only Reception". I have two young cousins, and they were the only kids there. Only because we are very close. But they just grabbed something to eat, said hello to the Bride and Groom, and then someone took them home.

For my wedding, I really won’t even have the option. My sis is only 11, and I have 4 cousins her age. My Fiance has 3 nephews under age 10 that will be coming from CA. If we’re already having 8 kids, might as well bring them all.

Post # 12
2640 posts
Sugar bee

OK.  Then I say, if you can get a sitter do that.  It’s a really sweet gesture.  If not, do adults only.  It’s reasonable to make an exception for the children in your bridal party (who are also your close relatives.)  If you don’t invite the kids, it might be a good idea to give those folks heads up before hand so they don’t get surprised by it at the reception, and get annoyed.

Post # 13
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Jewel Box in Forest Park and Windows on Washington

I would suggest hiring a babysitter.  Contact the local university or some sororities in the area….those girls love to babysit and make a few extra bucks!

You cannot really allow some people to bring kids and others not to, so your best bet would be to hire a babysitter and have your family (mom, etc.) spread the word about it.

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