Post # 1
I know my SO will be proposing soon. We have talked about and its confirmed.
But I don’t want to put pressure on him to ask me!
He knows that I want to be engaged ASAP, but he also knows that I want him to do it when he wants to and when it feels right for him.
I want to show him photos and ideas of rings I like, so he has an idea when the time comes! But I also want it to be a surprise! But how do I do that without putting pressure on him to ask me? Or hinting that I want him to ask me ASAP?
I tried telling him that he should give a “symbolic” ring and ask me and then we can choose one together? But he didnt’ like that idea.
Post # 3
@authorgroupie: At first, my SO wasn’t too keen on me seeing the ring before he gave it to me. But, we purchased a moissanite e-ring and not having seen one before, it’s imperative that I see it before the return period is up should I not like it. The only way I got him to change his mind about it was to talk to him. Same goes to you. Really, in a matter like this the only way you’ll get what you want (or at least stand a chance at getting what you want) is to communicate openly with no hints. Most men don’t get hints very well anyway.
ETA: As far as you wanting a “surprise,” why not pick a series of 4-5 rings for him to choose, that way you still don’t know exactly what you’re getting?
Post # 4
Go for a trip to a local jewler or maybe JC pennys alone and try on different styles. Make sure to get pictures and/or style info! Then casually show him online like hey look what I found or text him and say “I dreamed you gave me this!! I just had to show you”. I’m sure he would appreciate you helping him out 🙂
Post # 5
@babybee92: Do you not think showing him photos of rings is giving very strong hints/ big pressure to ask though?
Post # 6
Hrm – I guess it’s hard for me to answer bc I flat out said, “When you’re ready – this is the type of ring I want” and I was very specific. But, he also took me ring shopping about 6 months into our relationship and started saving from then. Also, there were times when we were in the mall and I would ask him if we could just ring shop for fun. He understood that I’m a girl and that it was fun for me to try on different rings and pretend like I was going to buy one and walk out with it. At one point, he asked me for my top 3 styles, in order of my fave.
Why don’t you just tell him and be honest? Say – I don’t want to pressure you, but since it came up and I know it’s coming soon, I would really appreciate a say. Can I send you my 2 favorite styles and what I like about them to help you when you’re ring shopping?
Or – you can trust that he’ll know your taste, if he’s done well in the past with gifts? My Fiance knows my taste really well, but I was VERY particular about my ring and had very specific details that I wanted, so I’m glad I had a say since I’m so picky lol although I really think you’ll love anything he gives you!!
Post # 7
@authorgroupie: it isnt! Dont bug him everday, but this time last year I would casually show my FH ring styles I liked. he got the hint and proposed in August,sans ring. lol he said he needed me to be sure about the ring but that he couldn’t wait another 5 years for me to make up my mind hehe. Just be casual and bring it up when you two are at dinner maybe 🙂
Post # 8
@authorgroupie: Just show him some pictures of rings you like, and don’t worry about it. In the end, it’s not about you getting the exact ring you wanted but about the fact that you’re going to be getting MARRIED! =)
Also sometimes you won’t get what you want. We went to pick out our wedding rings today, and I loved two: a simple milgrain one and one that had diamonds and sapphires. I told him it was his choice, since he’s paying for it, and he chose the simple one. Le sigh. But it’s okay! The symbolism is more important than the ring itself.
Post # 9
@futuremrsk18: oh, I think I might do what you said!
“Say – I don’t want to pressure you, but since it came up and I know it’s coming soon, I would really appreciate a say. Can I send you my 2 favorite styles and what I like about them to help you when you’re ring shopping”
@Xoxoseraph: I guess it sounds pretty casual bringing it up over dinner or something and then just sending him a few pictures after.
It’s hard as well, because I just know what I don’t like, rather than what I do! I wish men just asked with a symbolic ring, and then we got to choose it after! I don’t want him to spend too much money on it either. Especially if it will take away from the wedding budget. Definitely nothing over 5K.
Thanks for being so helpful everyone. I don’t think I could go engagement ring looking by myself though, I would feel too crazy. Do you think rings are like wedding dresses? That you have to try them on to see what style suits you? Or can I just pick from the photos.
Post # 10
@authorgroupie: HAHA.. I wasn’t subtle at all. I flat out checked out rings on my computer when he was next to me. He knows I love jewelry, so it wasn’t a huge shock. That got him asking, “You like that one? Okay” Voila! 🙂
If you talked about it, you shouldn’t feel that you’re pressuring him. If you’ve NEVER talked about getting engaged, well then that’s a whole other story!
Post # 11
@authorgroupie: I don’t think showing pictures is hinting or pressure. I think it’s just getting your desires out there in the open. Now, if every day you call him saying “hey, have you bought my ring yet?” or “you remember the ring I wanted, right?” that’s pressure. Put your wants on the table, give him details, and let him go with it!
Post # 12
Could you maybe show a friends ring to bring it up in covo of even on facebook say “look here sweetie, this ring is so beautiful. I really love round center, princess cut, halo, etc.”
In My Humble Opinion men are horrible w/ hints I was in the room when my mossy was purchased!
Post # 13
My Fiance and I went ring shopping together and the goal was to pick out 3 or 4 rings that I loved and would be happy with and he would get an idea of the general style I liked, and the things I absolutely did NOT like. I told him I’d be happy with anything, but there were certain styles I really didn’t like and some that I loved. But I had more than one dream ring… So it’s not like we picked ONE ring and there wouldn’t be a surprise… He just figured out the style I liked.
The ring I ended up getting was from a private jeweller who I had never visited before, the ring was one I’d never seen before and is a common style, but has a couple accents that make it unique and I LOVE it! 10 months later and I still send him text msgs gushing about my ring, or shove it in his face and say LOOOOOOK!!! SO PRETTY!! lol
Post # 14
Next time you’er at the mall together, just say you wanna go look when you walk by the jewellers. It can be spur of the moment, and you can ooh and ahh over your faves and even try a couple on “just for fun” and he’ll get an idea of what excites you
Post # 15
@authorgroupie: If you’ve talked weddings and marriage in a serious manner, then there is no reason you can’t simply say “hey, I know it’s a bit of a ways off yet, but I wanted to give you some suggestions for what I like.”
Post # 16
- Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema
I found the ring I wanted online so emailed him the link and said “I want this”