(Closed) How do I include my Best Friend who Mother hates?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It won’t be easy but I think you need to talk to your Mom.  It is your wedding and your decision.  I think if having your aunt is important then you should have her.  Can she read a poem in the ceremony? or a reading? 

Post # 5
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

firstly i see nothing wrong with your uncle walking you down the aisle – it seems very natural to me and i hope your mother gets over it. im guessing her guilt is behind her reasons  for being unhappy about this

for your aunt – what about asking her to do a reading? something up front and there without screaming pseudo MOB

either way, youre very lucky to have people that love you and have helped you and you obviously realize this by your words above


Post # 6
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I would also involve your aunt in the planning if she’s interested – invite her to go dress shopping or looking at venues, share photos with her, etc. Just keep it separate from the planning you may do with your mom and I think you can avoid conflict that way. 

Post # 7
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with girlwitharing… I’d share little details of planning with her, so she feels included. She’s kind of your “second mom,” and I’m sure she feels like she doesn’t want to step on any toes but be a big part of your big day, too. I would also have her do a reading or something equally important, but not necessarily related to MOB type duties.

Post # 8
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Sorry for your mom but the reality of the situation is your aunt and uncle stepped up.  You can’t just erase those years or the closeness you feel but make sure she knows there is still room in your heart for her.

Make sure that your aunt gets a wedding flower like the parents and grandparents usually do.  This will set her apart as not just another guest.  I assume your uncle automatically gets one.  You can have your Aunt take the special walk down the aisle that happens right before the ceremony starts as well as the special walk with your uncle right after the ceremony.  And make sure she gets to sit front row.  Have it go aisle > your mom > your uncle > your aunt > grandparents.  What about actually making your aunt your MOH?  Too weird? 🙂  I would do it.

Post # 10
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Could she do a reading? I don’t know if having her be in the actual bridal party is the way to go, I think that will really pour salt in your mom’s wounds.

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