Post # 1
Fiance and I were engaged in July. I have three siblings: one sister, two brothers. My Fiance has one brother. When we were deciding on bridesmaids and groomsmen, I wanted my sister to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and three of my girlfriends (not having a MOH). My Fiance wanted his brother to be his Best Man. I asked casually if my Fiance would ask my brothers to be groomsmen but my Fiance seemed to prefer his closest three friends and his brother. At the time, we thought if he had asked my brothers it would bring his party to six groomsmen leaving my bridal party at four BM’s… Leaving things uneven and we wanted to keep things small and simple and we didn’t want to overcomplicate things. I didn’t think much of it at the time since its only one day. We decided against asking my brothers and figured we would ask them to be Ushers/MC’s and do some readings.
Flash forward a few months later and it’s really bothering me that my brothers won’t be in the ceremony. This day is about our families coming together and celebrating our union and I don’t feel right that they won’t be standing up with us on our day. I’d like to ask them to stand on my side but I’m confused on how the processional/recessional might go. Does anyone have any advice on how to organize this? Should I ask one brother to stand on my side and the other to stand on my FI’s side?
Post # 3
Following because I’m in the same boat! FI has 6 Groomsmen and I have 5 Bridesmaid or Best Man (no sisters). I have 2 brothers. My older brother and his fiance didn’t want to be involved. I told my younger brother jokingly that he could hold my bouquet. I asked if they would do the readings at mass but my older brother is not religious and my younger brother does not enjoy speaking in public.
Post # 4
Ask all your brothers to stand up on your side. It is fine if sides aren’t even.
For the processional they can process down the aisle just like your BMs do. For the Grooms side I would have them come in from the side and standing up front prior to your processional beginning. For the recession just pair people up. If two guys end up walking together it is fine, they can certainly walk next to each other without it being weird.
IMO, being an usher is not really a honor. I mean they escort people to their seats, how is that an honor?
Post # 5
i had 1 Maid/Matron of Honor, 2 bridemaids, and my brother stand on my side.
Darling Husband had 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man and 4 groomsman.
this worked for us.
why can’t your brothers stand on your side?
as for processional – all bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the aisle individually.
walking back out, my brother escorted my mother, 1 bridesmaid had 2 groomsman.
no big deal. do what works best for you.
have your brother walk out together, with your mom, with an aunt, grandma. no one really pays attention.
Post # 6
That’s exactly how I was feeling about the Usher situation.
Post # 7
All excellent points. I don’t have any concerns about needing people to be “matched up evenly” so I think you’re right.
Post # 8
why dont you ask him to be the MC?
Post # 9
That was the original plan. I would like for them to stand with my Fiance and I during the ceremony as well as MC the reception.
Post # 10
I’m in a similar situation. My Fiance has two older sisters (with children who will be flower girls and ring bearers) and I feel inclined to ask them to be bridesmaids as well. However, I have two younger brothers (pre-teen and teenager) and am not sure what to do about them. I don’t think they would care much about being groomsmen, but should we ask their opinions? Is it weird to have such an age-gap if they were to be groomsmen? Is it an insult to ask them to be ushers? Definitely feeling your pain…
Post # 11
Similar situation here! Fiance has 2 brothers and 3 super close friends that he wants as Groomsmen. I have 2 brothers and not a lot of close girlfriends. So I definitely don’t want my brothers as groomsmen and have to find 7 girls (I know numbers don’t have to be even, but I have like 3 or 4 girls tops). On top of that, we moved around a lot as children, so I don’t have “life long friend”, my brothers are my childhood friends and the only ones who have been by my side through it all. I want them on MY side, tradition or not!
For processional, we will probably either have all the Groomsmen up front and just have all my side walk up individually, or if we decide everyone will walk up, just alternate them. Going back, we’ll just have them alternate and walk individually as well, easy peasy and adds like a minute tops to the whole ordeal.
Post # 12
I would ask your Fiance again to have him in the wedding party if it means that much to you. In the long run the procession doesnt really matter when your brothers feelings are involved. Not having him might be something you regret for a long time.
Post # 13
My Darling Husband didn’t want to have my brothers as Groomsmen so we made them ushers. I would have preferred for them to be groomsmen, but I wouldn’t have wanted my Darling Husband to dictate my bridesmaids, so after suggesting it once I left it alone. Usher felt like sort of a silly role to me, but it meant I got to list them in the program, and they wore the same suits as the groomsmen. Also the church where we got married has three sides, and I wanted everyone seated in the center section close to each other – people might have done this anyone but in the week before the wedding, it was a relief to realize my brothers would be in charge of that (and handing out programs). They also helped escort my mom and grandmother down the isle during the seating of families, and carried the gifts up at the mass. So they were ultimately more involved than I intitally thought and I think it worked out.
Post # 14
I am having my sister, brother and my bestie stand with me, my Fiance is having a male friend, female friend and his sister stand with him.
Just have your wedding party walk down individually – the whole bridesmaid walks with a groomsmen – its just so unnecessary and antiquated.
It’s 2015 and your wedding. You can make your own rules.