Post # 1
Member
14 posts
Newbee
Hi everyone!
My FH’s family is hosting the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. They are from a very small, old-fashioned town that their family essentially built generations ago, and the way they’ve always done rehearsal dinners for generations is to have a cocktail party the night before the event where every wedding guest is also invited. I know, I know… rehearsal dinner is supposed to be for wedding party, close friends, and family, but they are the ones hosting and that’s what they want to do. I actually love the idea since so many of our guests are coming from out of town and the more time I can spend with them the better.
Here’s the problem… how do I invite everyone? I think it’s tacky to include on main invitation. Can I put an insert with the main invite or is that also tacky? And then we have invitation, response card, directions/website insert, rehearsal dinner invitation insert. It seems like a lot!
I know generally you invite rehearsal dinner guests 6 weeks before with a separate invitation, but knowing that most of our guests will be booking flights ASAP, I want them to know there is another event the evening before.
Any advice appreciated!
Post # 2
Member
1122 posts
Bumble bee
I would put an insert card in the invite.
Post # 3
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
Definitely include an insert card with the invitation if people are travelling from out of town, as they will need to know about the rehearsal dinner ASAP when making travel plans. I can’t imagine why this would be tacky.
Post # 4
Member
3592 posts
Sugar bee
Why would it be tacky to include with the invitation?
Post # 5
Member
6845 posts
Busy Beekeeper
An insert included with the wedding invitation is the way to go.
Post # 6
Member
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
mellybee561 : If this is what his family has done for generations, they probably have the invitation part down pat. I’d leave it to them or ask them how I can help. I would definitely not invite everyone via my own wedding invitations unless the hosts are ok with that.
Post # 7
Member
6917 posts
Busy Beekeeper
We had something similar. We had a rehearsal dinner after the actual rehearsal with the required parties, and my in laws threw a ‘welcome party’ a bit later that everyone was invited to. The welcome party was more drinks and nibbles but optional, and I liked having the rehearsal dinner separate.
I think an insert is appropriate if you need a headcount, but we mostly just spread it by word of mouth and included it on our welcome brochure thing (just listed all the events of the weekend delivered to their hotel room). Almost all guests stayed in the same hotel so it was relatively easy.
Post # 8
Member
3473 posts
Sugar bee
We invited everyone. We included an insert with the invitation and included it on the RSVP card (physical and website RSVP options).
Post # 9
Member
12318 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
The invitation should be separate and sent by the hosts. It does not belong in the wedding invitation. Traditionally the wedding party, officiant, immediate families and their partners are invited, but there is nothing inappropriate whatsoever about including a larger guest list.
Post # 10
Member
3473 posts
Sugar bee
Well, our hosts were 89 years old, so we figured we would save them some heartache.
Plus, a lot of our guests were traveling so it was easier for them if they got all the information they needed at one time.
Post # 11
Member
12318 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I realize I didn’t fully answer the question about making flight reservations ahead of time to account for a rehearsal dinner invitation. I would do that as a heads up to those invited, either by way of a wedding website if everyone is included, a separate mailing or email or one on one correspondence.
Post # 12
Member
1016 posts
Bumble bee
You are not hosting the rehearsal dinner so you have nothing to do with sending the invitations.
Post # 13
Member
14 posts
Newbee
Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the input 🙂
My Future Mother-In-Law basically said that she does not want to deal with RSVPs (love her but I kind of agree organization may not be her forte) and my FH said that it will be easier for guests to just RSVP for both events on one card. I still am hesitant since his parents are technically hosting to include with our invites, but that’s what we’re doing.
So suite will include: wedding invite, details card, welcome party/rehearsal dinner invite, and an RSVP card with options to RSVP to either or both events. At the end of the day it makes it easier for guests to RSVP and makes it easier for us to organize.
Post # 14
Member
8582 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
mellybee561 :
Well if your fil’s parents are the hosts, then surely they, not you, do the inviting? I would just check how they plan on doing it and if that means adding it to the wedding invitation , fine . If not, assume they know how to do it, given it is traditional in their family.
ok just saw your update …
Post # 15
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
Nope, nope, nope. Even if Mother-In-Law doesn’t want to “deal” with invitations, you need to help her pick some out and mail them herself.
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