how do I invite one person but not the other?

posted 1 month ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
2977 posts
Sugar bee

mmkopl :  Before firmly deciding not to invite your aunt and cousins, think about how awkward and uncomfortable it will be for your grandmother: after all, it’s not just any housemates; they are her daughter and granddaughters…

Post # 3
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I can’t think of any way you could pull this off without causing offense or an uncomfortable situation for your grandmother. I would either leave her off the “tiny” list (maybe just the two of you and your parents) or invite your aunt and cousins, sorry.

Post # 4
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

As long as your grandmother gets around on her own with no issue, then I think you can send an invitation to her (and address it only to her) and then if anyone asks you any questions, you just tell them “Sorry, we’re keeping the guest list extremely tight. We’d love to be able to invite all of our loved ones, but we just can’t.”

We invited my husband’s grandmother but she wasn’t able to drive herself so we also invited her son (with whom we do not have a relationship).

Post # 5
Member
2830 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

mmkopl :  If it were me, I would just send grandma an invite. Just because they happen to share a home and they are your family doesn’t mean they automatically get invited to everything as a group.

Post # 6
Member
6645 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

mmkopl :  So this situation kind of happened to a friend of mine. Her mother (bride’s grandmother) was invited to the wedding but no other family. But the grandma lived with my friend and her family. She also relied on my friend for transportation so…it was very awkward for both the grandmother and my friend was very offended (she was the bride’s aunt). 

I’d just really think this through beforehand. 

Post # 7
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

 mmkopl :  in your other post you mentioned inviting family and *friends* to this dinner.  I agree with claroquesi :  and other pp. Excluding them will be awkward and create hard feelings.  I would invite all 3.

Post # 8
Member
660 posts
Busy bee

mmkopl :  You don’t need to invite your aunts or cousins if you don’t wish to invite them. I imagine your grandmother has lunch without them from time to time. If she has mobility issues, you can arrange to send someone to pick her up.

With respect to posters that suggest you should invite them to avoid “awkwardness”, it’s not clear it would be awkward. Furthermore, you shouldn’t do something just to avoid awkwardness. 

Post # 9
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Just invite grandma. 

Simple, no need for explanations

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