Post # 1
Up until just recently, every member of our wedding party was in a serious relationship (married, engaged or living together) except for my two bridesmaids, #4 and #5. #4 and #5 always planned on being each others date since they are close friends even though they are getting “and guest”.
Well, recently #5 got on eharmony and met a great guy. Within the last month they’ve been getting closer and closer and now she is seriously considering bringing him to my wedding as her plus-one. I’m leaving it up to her, but I’m 99% sure he’s coming.
Well #4 is very sensitive about being single in general and this has set her over the edge. She’s been asking me behind the scenes if #5 is bringing her new beau and she’s clearly not happy about it. I totally understand where she’s coming from. I mean, her situation sucks. She is the only wedding party member (and I think wedding guest!) who is single and even though she’ll be busy, she won’t have another single to sit next to at the Rehearsal Dinner, share the hotel room and dance with at the wedding.
She’s been very sweet to me and I can tell trying really hard to surpress her sadness. I told her to bring a friend if she wants, anyone, but I think she’s even too depressed to ask someone.
Any advice for how I can make her feel better? We are doing assigned seating at the Rehearsal Dinner and the wedding, so I’m definitely going to take that into consideration. I HATE it when couples sit next to each other and shut everyone out, so I’ll try to avoid that. Other than the assigned seating I can’t think of anything!
Post # 3
I have the same situation! My Maid/Matron of Honor is the only one not seeing anyone. She hasn’t been too expressive about how it bothers her but I know it does. There are little comments that she doesn’t even mean to make. I too told her that she can bring anyone she wants, she didn’t want to.
Do you have other friends/family around her age that are single? I plan on just seating my Maid/Matron of Honor with a few friends, some of which she kinda knows. In the end, she’ll be spending a lot of time catching up with old friends and dancing with us that she won’t feel like she’s missing out too much. Its the slow songs that might bother her. I really don’t think there’s any way for us to make them feel less awkward about it though.
Post # 4
@jennifer – actually, I was thinking about it and I think she is the only single wedding guest. When I say single I mean truly single, like not even dating anyone. I’ve already decided not to do the boquet toss (not for her, just b/c I hate them). But other than that I’m clueless.
Post # 5
It would be a gamble, but among your group of friends do you know someone you could invite to be her blind date of sorts. As in, invite the guy to your wedding not as her date just as a guest, then introduce them at the reception, they could really hit it off or at least have a fun couple hours together
Post # 6
I’ve run into this, too. It’s hard because most of our friends are already married, or at least in very serious relationships – except one bridesmaid and one good friend (both girls).
Friend decided to ask a good (gay) male friend and my bridesmaid may bring her mom, or come stag – she said she just wants to look hot. Since I’m going to have more gay men than straight (single) men (um, none) at my wedding, I don’t know who she’s going to look hot for! I do hope she brings her mom but I know she’ll have a blast either way!
Post # 7
@ktisthatbees – That’s a good suggestion, but I’m worried about making her feel uncomfortable. I honestly don’t know any single guys that she would be even remotely interested in. She’s picky, but honestly I wouldn’t even date the single guys I know so I don’t blame her.
@meg380s – I’m definitely encouraging her to bring a date. I don’t want her to be the only member of the wedding party without one. She just doesn’t want to ask a friend so right now she’s planning on not having one.
Post # 8
@moderndaisy – ok, this is going to make me sound a little mean maybe, but really, there is nothing you can do. you’ve done all of the right things so far and it sounds like you will do your best to mix up seating so she’s involved, beyond that, she’s going to feel how she feels and you can’t change that. I have one single Bridesmaid or Best Man too, I’ve told her to bring a date, bring a friend, bring whomever she wants and she’s coming alone. Ok, that’s her choice and I support that too. It’s up to her, in making that choice, to be OK with it.
I’ve been the single Maid/Matron of Honor at two wedding and opted not to bring a date. And bringing a friend just felt wrong because it would only draw more attention to me not having a date and I didn’t want to invite some ‘token’ guy to make my friends feel less awkward about my situation. So I went alone. And I had a great time. Yes, I wished for a date, yes, I was sad that I didn’t have one, but I was so happy for my girls that it didn’t matter.
So be sensitive. And be supportive. But don’t push. She’ll be ok.
Post # 9
I have this same issue. My best friend (Miss PumpkinPenguin) and I both have the same girl in our weddings as a bridesmaid, plus this girl’s sister is getting married too. So she is really down about being single. I feel bad for her but…
It also kind of annoys me that I can NEVER talk about the wedding around her! I never bring it up because she reacts poorly. After I got engaged, the girls and I went to the bar to celebrate and she said there that I was talking about weddings too much. UH, hello, it’s my night out to celebrate ME! And now if she asks about something wedding related, I will respond with something positive and succinct, and she’ss still get all flustered and roll her eyes and exclaim “I’m sick of all this wedding talk!” It’s kind of frustrating….