- 5 years ago
Regular Bee going anonymous for this one. How many times have you heard that one…ha!
I used to have regular friends that I was very close to, for several years. We ended up breaking ties because we just weren’t heading in the same direction anymore. Things were tense after that. I felt I had really offended them, they wanted nothing to do with me. They didn’t seem to understand that I was married now, and though I still had time for friends, we just didn’t share the same attitude anymore. They pretty much disowned me, and it was hurtful. But I wasn’t going to put my entire life on hold just so I could keep partying, etc. I still loved them, but my life needed more.
Well. The three of them unfriended me on Facebook (first world problem, I know, but it gets much worse). I ended up making my peace with one of them. Her father had passed away and I reached out to her and donated to her father’s funeral fund (no life insurance, and I wanted her to know that I still cared about her, despite everything that had happened). She texted me and told me it was much appreciated, it meant a lot to her family, and so on. Two days later, this friend passed away in a very tragic car accident. Right after her own father. It was horrible. I was heartbroken. I tried to reach out to the other two past-friends, as was necessary, but they would have nothing to do with me anymore. I can’t say I blame them. They might have thought differently if they had known that myself and the one friend had been in good standing before she had passed away, but there was no proof of it, and I wasn’t about to try to prove myself in such a time of turmoil. This was a time for all of us to grieve, not to argue about who was friends with who. And I will never bring it up. Ever.
So, basically, I don’t have any real friends. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve spent any leisure time with anyone, apart form my husband, and I’ve been very happy. But, at the same time, it would be nice to have someone who could come around who would be a natural addition to my life. I don’t really spend time with anyone from work, and I don’t feel that connection with any of them. This is going to sound very strange, but there was one girl I felt that I might connect with, back when I went to college. We never spent time together, but we are friends on Facebook and we have SO much in common. Science, astronomy, too much to mention, really. She also went through a major loss recently, though hers was much worse than mine, admittedly. She lost a daughter due to unavoidable medical problems. I just think she is a wonderful person. She lost her daughter a year ago, is it too soon to ask her to “hang out?” It woudn’t be more than coffee. And how the heck would I ask her? My only option is Facebook and I don’t want to seem weird. I just really feel like we could have a lot to talk about since we seem to have so much in common. I just don’t seem to have those skills anymore :-/ So what do I do?