(Closed) How do I make sure my bridesmaid keeps her dirty mouth to herself on my day?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

at the wedding, most people will be too busy to notice her antics. i would take her aside right before the rehearsal dinner, and tell her that your parents or grandparents are very conservative, so please keep her dirty comments to herself for the night.

Post # 4
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow, I have had friends like this, they are so fun when it’s the RIGHT time!   lol  I would just say something like, “We all have to tone it down at the rehearsal since my parents and grandparents are going to be there, let’s not cuss or talk dirty, deal?”  Make it sound like you’re telling everyone, even yourself…so she doesn’t feel like you’re just accusing her of these things… maybe??

Post # 5
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

OMG. If she repeats those kinds of jokes when everyone is silent, she’s clearly not very good at reading social cues. I second PP, tell her that someone is really conservative (whoever) and you don’t want to offend them, so tone it down for the night (and maybe be more direct with the “knock it off” signals than silence, since she clearly can’t read that one!).

Post # 6
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

As a friend you take them as they are.  You knew her behavior when you asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man so the best you can do is say “Just FYI so and so is easily offended by bad language” and hope she listens. You shouldn’t try to correct her though. You are not her guardian

Post # 7
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Wannabe-diy-bride: one of my bf’s friends from growing up is just like this.  when I met her and he introduced me as his gf, the first thing she said ‘So, she’s f**ing you good right?’ Now, they have NO history or anything together, he was really embarassed.  I don’t think we’ll be giving her an invite 😛

Post # 8
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Just assign another bridesmaid to keep an eye on her.  The other Bridesmaid or Best Man could invent a task for her/change the subject/get her away from your easily scandalized relatives if she starts getting bawdy.  Or, if she starts getting inappropriate, you or someone else could just gently remind her to keep it PG.

I doubt people would notice though – there’ll be a lot going on that day!  I wouldn’t stress about it too much.

Post # 9
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Whew boy!  I’m really not sure how to broach the subject without offending her at least a little bit.  But you have to say something!  The fact that she can’t pick up on those social cues is BAD and I would be terribly embarrassed to have a friend behaving like that in front of my family and FI’s family.  Try to talk to her the next time you’re out together – let her know that you think she’s hilarious, but that you really want her to keep her comments “PG” in front of your wedding guests.

Post # 11
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

To be honest my whole family is pretty open minded and aside from personal stuff there is very little that I would say with my friends that my Mam and my sisters and I would chat about.

 

But what I do have experience of is …. I work in a botanical gardens, I work with another woman and when we’re busy on our own sorting out plant cultures we often have silly dirty chats and jokes, which is fine, but because we are an educational facility we often have children wandering around and in those cases it’s just not on! I took her to one side and just said “Look if you don’t tone down your language when your round the greenhouses then at some point a teacher or parent will complain and you might loose your job!” so I advise ….. Tell her that if she upsets a relative of yours (a-bite unintentionally) it will really upset you and sort of spoil some of your big day ……. but that’s just me! 😀 

Post # 12
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Haha I’ve got one of these! She is SO dirty and open about her sexuality, if we’re at her house you have to be careful what you say or insinuate or before you know it she’s bringing out dildos -_-She even says she feels so bad when they have dinner at her husbands because she says retarded things without thinking. I am going to give her a heads up that my grandparents might have a heart attack at the rehearsal dinner if she starts one of her usual conversations, and just hope for the best! Remember, its not you who should be embarrassed, she’s doing it to herself!

Post # 13
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just talk to her about it. Yea she might be offended but I would definitely tell her nicely and just explain it to her that you would very much appreciate it if she would keep her comments and language clean at the wedding. I really hope she can control herself and not get upset at you for bringing it up, good luck!

Post # 14
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I think it would be best not to say anything to the potty-mouthed BMs, but to have someone keep an eye on her.

Post # 15
Member
1270 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

i really don’t think you need to say anything to her. if it’s a decent sized wedding, i doubt anyone will be paying enough attention to her to notice. all eyes are on you and your hubby that night!

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