- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Warning: this is long, but I just need it off my chest.
I posted on here a few days ago about how upset I was about having to give up my dog in order to live with my fiance once we are married. In truth, this whole engagement process has sucked. And I’m trying to figure out how to deal with it and not be stressed and depressed on my wedding day…
For the sake of venting, I will share my pre-wedding woes. To start, my engagement weekend was the happiest weekend of my life…awesome proposal, dream ring, surrounded by friends and feeling very very loved and blessed. Not to mention the fact that my FI is the best man I have ever met and I now get to spend the rest of my life with him 🙂 But, this has been the last time I’ve been truly happy in the past 2 months. Since then, I’ve had to deal with way too much drama and some very unfortunate circumstances.
My best friend declined to be a bridesmaid because she would “feel too fat in a bridesmaid dress.” There was even more drama there, but detailing those events would turn this into a book. My sister (and MOH) has been completely ambivalent about me getting married, and has decided not to attend showers and parties, or to even help with anything. It’s not a jealousy thing, she just really doesn’t care and “doesn’t like parties”, so therefore wants to limit her involvement. My main shower had to be canceled because almost no one could attend (not mad, just disappointed, it was no one’s fault). The guestlist got way out of hand to the point that if it rains, not everyone will fit under the tent. The groomsmen don’t know what they’re wearing just 1 month from the wedding because the shirts we picked were discontinued before they could purchase them. I can’t find a similar replacement (aqua striped dress shirt) and I’m on decision overload right now. This will be solved soon, but it’s been an annoying complication. I also picked my dress too quickly and I feel very “meh” about it now. Too late now.
Oh, and I have to give up my dog. I already have a thread about this, please please don’t ask me if there’s anything I haven’t tried in order to keep him, because I promise you I have. You’d need to read my original post along with the update that fully explains the complex situation there.
Since we live 2 hrs apart and have a pending move out-of-state, we didn’t want to wait too long to be married. I hate winter and I’m not a big fan of fall (since it ushers in winter), plus I had my heart set on an outdoor wedding. So we picked end of September…we got engaged on the 4th of July. HUGE mistake. I have been trying to plan a wedding, sell my house, and move all in less than 3 months. Plus, my whole life is changing…I’m moving away from family, friends, and job. Three months has not been enough time to process this.
I’m so stressed that I am physically ill. My chronic muscle spasms in my back are competing to see who can form the tightest knot, i have a perma-headache, and my autoimmune disease that causes random hair loss is flairing up. It would be an understatement to say that I don’t handle stress well.
I love my FI, and I have no doubts he’s the man I want to marry. I certainly do not want to call off the wedding, and postponing it at this point would cost us most of our wedding budget.
My question is, what on earth can I do to get it together by the wedding? I don’t want to let my crappy circumstances dictate my mood as I enter my last month of engagement, and certainly not on my wedding day, but I don’t know how to move past everything. Has anyone else had to deal with a horrible engagement period?