Post # 1
Im having trouble picking a maid of honor! Please help me choose!
There are three “contestants.” My sister and my two best friends from high school.
Here are why they are contestants!
1. My sister.
She’s my sister. We werent always close but two years ago I would have called her my best friend. We have been through alot together. But as of lately, we have been distant. Her then boyfriend was bad news- very bad news- and she didnt like what i had to say so we stopped talking for about a year. She even told me she didnt want to be part of my wedding. Until recently, she broke up with him and we are speaking again and she is back in the wedding. I feel like we arent as close as we use to be. Even though I’m the youngest, I feel like I’m the older sister. She tries so hard to be young again I would have a hard time trusting her to get all the Maid of Honor things accomplished.
2. High School bff #1.
We have been friends since Junior year of high school. We became friends over liking the same band. We have travelled the country together following that band! We had alot of great times together. We’ve always been their for each other even though our lives have brought us in different directions. She can be really fun but also very controlling. I think she would do a good job as being my Maid/Matron of Honor but I am worried she will over stress the situation. Its asking for alot. She lives about 2 hours away from me and i feel guilty asking her to take so much time out of her day to help me. Also when she was engaged, she did not ask me to be a bridesmaid. I have no hard feelings over this because her then fiance had two sisters and she wanted to keep her bridal party small.
3. High school bff#2
Its been HSBFF#1, HSBFF#2, and me since junior year of high school. We met because we had all the same lunches and many mutual friends. Personality wise I would say I still have alot in common with her. We were alot closer in high scool and college but i feel when we hang out its like we see each other everyday. She also lives 2 hours away. I would also feel guilty about asking her but she is very laid back. When she was engaged, she didnt ask me to be a bridesmaid but like before this does not bother me. Her now husband has two sisters she has become close too.
4. BFF#1 & BFF#2
Because the group has always been us three, I would feel like i would create animosity if i choose one and not the other. Since one is married and the other isnt, I was debating if i should have a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor. What are people’s opinion of this? Since they live closer to each other, I feel like they can tag team it. Thus creating less stress for both. Is this a bad/ weird option?
Post # 3
There’s secret choice 4 – don’t have an MoH, just maids.
Post # 4
You’re right. I have debated this option too. If i dont have a Maid/Matron of Honor who will walk with the best man?
Post # 5
@aenriquez311: flip a coin, draw straws, do it alphabetically, or by height… it doesn’t really matter, don’t overthink it. 🙂
Post # 6
Its def hard to choose. I ended up choosing the friend i saw the most, and lived the closet( it made picking stuff for weddings easier with her right there).
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
I’d say that if your gut isn’t telling you particularly one way or another then don’t have a specified Maid/Matron of Honor ^^ I probably wouldn’t and several friends I know that got married recently didn’t have MOHs – maybe it’s less common in the UK, IDK 🙂
And yeah – seconding having them appear in hieght order lol ^^
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
If you feel like you MUST choose someone to designate as “MOH”, I’d go with your sister. Friends can come and go, but she will forever be your sister.
That said, there are no such things as “MOH” duties. A wedding, and the roles of the wedding party, are YOUR choice. They are flexible, depending on what and how much you want. The smaller and less demanding your list is, the easier it is for the wedding party to make you happy.
Post # 9
@aenriquez311: I would probably pick your sister. I’m sure if you let her know what types of things she needs to do up front, she will be able to do what you want her to. And if your other maids are older and better at planning, they might be able to guide her. It sounds like your other friends are farther and it can be more stressful for both of you to have that distance. My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor she’s 20 and she’s done good, but the only thing i really needed from her was for her to get a dress and plan my shower (my grandma is helping her) It depends on your expectations.
Post # 10
@geekspice: +1, that’s what I was going to suggest.
Post # 11
@aenriquez311: Choose your sister. Give her the honor and it might just bring you two closer. If she flakes on stuff, delegate whatever she hasn’t done among your bridesmaids so no one person is overloaded.
Post # 12
you are over thinking this. your moh & bm’s really just have one responsibility. show up in the dress and stand beside you for the day.
most do, but they are not required to host showers and bachelorettes, go to find your dress, go to your dress fittings, help with diy projects, etc.
the moh usually just has one additional duty, to witness (sign) the marriage certificate.
Post # 13
Honestly, if you feel compelled to pick a maid of honor, I’d go with first high school friend. You mentioned that you have been distant from your sister as of late, and that you don’t trust her. From what you described, your second friend seems a little too laid-back for your expectations.
But if I were you, I’d just make them all bridesmaids. I feel as if too many people pick their sister(s) as MoH just to avoid creating drama among their friends who expected to be picked. After all, at the end of the day, none of these girls will have a huge list of things to do.